A Beautiful Feeling

“At last, I have set you free.
Do you know how beautiful that feels?”

The last words you ever said to me was, “Set me free.” It wasn’t something I expected, and it’s taken me so long to release the weight I’ve held on my shoulders. Weight that was never mine to bear. You see, you were everything to me. You held my heart. You saw my soul. And yet, you still chose to leave all I had given behind with a cold shoulder. As if I never mattered at all. I suppose that is what hurt the worst. The not knowing. If any of it was real, as I felt deep in the marrow of my bones. If you were the person I thought you were. But in the end, it doesn’t matter, and this weight I carry, I’ve carried it long enough. At last, I have set you free. And do you know how beautiful that feels? How delicious it is to not have to struggle for the next breath I inhale into my lungs? How wonderful it is to not let the tears slip from my eyes in the dead of night? How freeing it is to not send wishes into the sky like wood smoke rising up from a pyre? So you see, now that I’ve finally let go, even if you came back, I wouldn’t ever let you back in.

© Sarah Doughty

My days are no longer as dark
in your absence, because
I let my own light shine for once.

I let my own light shine.