The Lucky One

“And darling, I have no words.
How can I possibly tell you
how much you mean to me?”

I’m not sure words can ever express how much you mean to me. Not just for being the person you are. But for everything you’ve done for me. Everything you’ve sacrificed. Everything you stood for, and held me up when I couldn’t stand on my own two feet. You’ve been there. Through the good. Through the bad. Through it all, you’ve been a solid structure I’ve needed to keep myself from drowning. And darling, I have no words. How can I possibly tell you how much you mean to me? How can I possibly tell you that you’ve saved me over and over again? And that I’m here, following my dreams, because of you?

With every beat of my heart and every breath that I take, I remind myself that you gave me the strength to survive. And I may not have known you back then, but I knew you were out there, waiting for me. You, my love, have always been my strength. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m the lucky one.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

I’m the lucky one.

Back To You

“Because, darling, I’ll make my way back to you.
If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll find a way.”

Maybe this is how it’s all supposed to be. If you believe in fate, that is. I got lost inside myself. Trapped in a prison within my head. Thoughts never ending. Never slowing down. Never allowing me to be who I am. But I’m determined. Can you see it? This determination in my eyes? If we are meant to be, we will be again. I have to believe that. And I hope you’ll still be there, waiting for me. Because, darling, I’ll make my way back to you. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll find a way back to you.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

Wait for me, please.
I’m coming.

My Philosophy

“When I feel your heart beating,
I know I am yours.”

I’ve always wondered how to define the difference between living and existing? I wonder if I’ve spent most of my life existing, rather than truly living. But in those calm moments when I feel your heart beating, I’m reminded that, if nothing else, I’ve lived. I’ve known love. I’ve known sacrifice. I’ve known pain, joy, guilt, passion, and everything in between. So how could I say I’ve merely existed? I’ve done so much more than that. I feel it in your heartbeat. I hear it in your voice.

That is how I know I’m living. That is how I know I’m so much more than a simple being. I am yours. I am always yours.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

Yours, for my whole existence.

Unconditional

“Because you, my love,
you’ve shown me unconditional love.”

A wise friend told me that to be free of my body’s prison I need to first embrace myself and truly connect with all the parts of me. The good. The bad. The ugly. Even the ones I wish would remain in the shadows. Though I’m not entirely sure how I will accomplish this feat, I know I’m going to try. If I can learn to understand why I am a prison, then maybe I can learn to pick a few locks and be. Truly. Free.

And that is what I want. With you. For me. For the future. Because you, my love, you’ve shown me how I deserve happiness. You’ve shown me unconditional love. It’s about damned time I do the same in return.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

You remind me of my strength,
I might as well put it to good use.

Thankful For You

“I’m thankful that I finally
have my piece of heaven.
I’m thankful that I have you.”

You see, it’s the guilt that gets me. The moments I feel like I cheated death. Those are the ones that haunt me.

Sometimes I think I’ve been living on borrowed time. Like maybe, I wasn’t supposed to live beyond those early years. And if I didn’t, I wonder if this is some kind of afterlife. Either way, I’m thankful for what I have. I’m thankful that I finally have my piece of heaven. I’m thankful that I have you.

© Sarah Doughty

I’m thankful that I have you.

Touch Of Magic

“Because you were my dream come true
and I didn’t want the spell to end.”

A touch of magic was all I needed. Because you were my dream come true and I didn’t want the spell to end.

Maybe that was what made me want to hold on to you like my life depended on it. You were everything to me, and I couldn’t bear to lose you.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

I don’t ever want to lose you.

Loving Again

“Oh darling, believe me when I say
you will love again.”

Oh darling, believe me when I say you will love again. It’ll happen slow, little by little every day. You may not even notice it. And then it’ll feel like drowning. Drowning in love for this person. Someone that deserves your heart. Your soul. All of you.

One day, you’ll find someone that loves you like I love you.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

Because, my love, I do.
I love you.

Blinded

“You were special. You were
everything I ever needed.”

The instant we connected, I knew you were something special. It was like seeing light after a lifetime of darkness. Like you opened my eyes and I couldn’t look away.

Suddenly, I needed you. It wasn’t air I needed to breathe. It wasn’t food I needed to fuel me. It wasn’t blood rushing through my veins. It was you. It was all of you. I realized you were what I needed all along. You were everything.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

You are my everything.

Sudden Surrender

“Darling, I’m tired of hiding my heart.
You’re what I want. I’ve fallen for you.”

Darling, I’m tired. So very tired. I can’t look at you without feeling like I can fly. I can’t bear to touch you without feeling electricity flowing through my veins. I can’t hear your name without my heart skipping a beat. I can’t bear to keep living like this. Like I’m drowning in you. Like I’m hopelessly falling for you. Like I am a helpless victim.

So I give up. I’m raising the white flag. You’re what I want. You. All of you. I’ve fallen for you and there’s no going back. There will never be anyone else. There will only ever be you.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

I’m tired of fighting a heart
that wants to love you.
So please tell me you love me too.

Ghosts And Dreams

“Oh, but darling, my dreams are only
ghosts without you in them.”

I built my life on hopes and dreams. I found you and you made me believe anything was possible. You made me believe they would come true. You made me believe in happy ever afters.

And I know. I know how complicated and difficult life can be. But this world is cold without you. I can feel it beneath the surface. I can feel it without your touch.

So please, don’t leave me buried in broken dreams. These dreams are only ghosts without you in them.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

Please tell me you’ll stay.