Poetry

Apocalyptic

“You’re more than a person I grieve.
My world ended the moment you left it.”

But this ache of mine, growing deeper in my chest, feels more like a chasm than just a space waiting to be filled again. It whispers during the night, directing my dreams to the past and what I imagined the future would look like. It vibrates during the day, as if my heart is no longer sustaining me, but this vast emptiness and its slow, steady expansion through my body. You see, it’s a constant reminder that we only existed in the past. This present is a painful reality I’ve yet to accept. A future that can no longer exist. And it’s eating away at me, day by day. This missing of you. The loss of everything that could have been. Because it’s more than just a person I grieve. My whole world ended the moment you left it.

© Sarah Doughty

I don’t know
how to rewrite
the rest of the story
without you.

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Poetry

Falling Down

“And this is when I crumble.
Knowing that my heart wants only you.”

And this is when I crumble. When the fear takes over and my heart overpowers my mind. It’s the knowing that my heart wants only you. The trembling of my foundation becomes too much to remain on my unsteady feet and I begin to sway. As the pieces fall beneath me, forcing me to balance, knowing that it’s only a matter of time before I fall, I try to prepare myself. But I’m never ready to fall apart. I’m never ready to be vulnerable. To be seen. Raw. Flawed. And scared. Always scared. But I know, eventually I will land on solid ground and then, maybe then, it won’t drop out from under me.

© Sarah Doughty

So please, tell me you’ve got me,
because I don’t want
to fall away from you.

Poetry

Alight

“I always loved the way your blue eyes
lit up when you looked at me.”

In the pre-dawn light, I feel the warmth of the day seeping into my bones. It reminded me of the way your eyes lit up. How the brilliant blue sometimes refracted little bits of orange when you smiled in my direction. It reminded me of the way your hand entwined with mine felt warm and safe. Never uncomfortable. But then sun inevitably creeps over the horizon, searing my eyes and burning my flesh, making me beg for night to return again. If only to look up at the stars and remember the depth I saw in your gaze when your eyes locked with mine.

© Sarah Doughty

If only to see
your eyes again.

Poetry

Pieces Of Safety

“If I knew what life would bring you,
I would have tried to keep you safe.”

If I knew the things that troubled you late into the night, I would’ve made more than just a simple dream catcher. I would’ve showed you how to face your fears. How to do the impossible, and act instead of stay frozen in indecision. If I knew the life you would lead and all the pain that would come with it, I would’ve tried to keep your innocence just a little longer. If only I knew what I know now, maybe, just maybe, you would have come out the other side intact.

© Sarah Doughty

But now,
I’m in just as many
pieces as you.

Poetry

Echoes And Beats

“Can you hear the echo in my heart?
It remembers everything we were.”

Can you hear the echo in my heart? The one that reverberates instead of a beat, continuing to move blood through my veins. Can you sense the silhouette — the shadows behind me that linger with sadness and pain? It’s the ghost of what used to be you and me. Everything we ever were. And what could have been. The joy I felt when our hearts beat in unison. The bright outlook of the future we were meant to share. Now all that remains of us is a memory. Still full of love, but yet broken at the same time.

© Sarah Doughty

I wonder,
does your heart
echo too?

Poetry

Cold Hearts

“Sometimes cold hearts can beat
when they prey on something warm.”

And it feels like a part of my heart was ripped out of my chest for no reason other than to see how much it would hurt. I suppose that’s what you have to be prepared for when you bare your soul to the world — not everyone will be there to offer you a safe place to rest when you are weary. Not everyone will give you shelter from the rain. And not everyone will offer you a blanket when you are cold. Because sometimes cold hearts can only keep beating when they prey on something warm.

© Sarah Doughty

And you took your fill.

Poetry

Mirrors And Silence

“No matter how much hatred you hold,
try looking in a mirror.”

Take all this blood, for I have no use of it any longer. Take all the tears, for they have filled oceans. Take all these thoughts, for they have lived, loved, and lost. But you can never take my heart or my soul, for that is what defines me. And no matter how much jealousy or hatred you hold for me, try looking in a mirror. Maybe then you’ll understand why you feel alone.

© Sarah Doughty

And maybe then
you’ll realize how
heartless you’ve been.

Poetry

Venomous

“I saw behind those sweetly-spoken words
and could feel the venom behind them.”

It was a calculated effort. A sly attempt to tear me down with no trace back to its source. A misguided lie and a perception of innocence. But I saw through it. I saw behind those sweetly-spoken words and could feel the venom behind them. And that was when I knew I’d caught you. That was when I realized an enemy was disguised as a friend.

© Sarah Doughty

Karma is a powerful force.

Poetry

Gnawing Ache

“And it was then that I knew
what heartache and loss felt like.”

It was the silence. The empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. The undeniable feeling that I’d lost something significant. Something I couldn’t define or even name. But it was a gnawing ache that continued to grow. And it wasn’t until I’d lived with that feeling for what seemed like a lifetime that I woke in the middle of the night with the whisper of your name on my tongue. And it was then that I knew what heartache and loss felt like.

© Sarah Doughty

Because I lost everything.

Poetry

Cat And Mouse

“There was no danger from my predator.
Because his heart belonged with mine.”

It was the fire. The flames that burned into my eyes, as if a raging pyre burned and smoldered in front of me, when there was nothing there but the stillness of the night under the full moon. My eyes, like mirrors to an unseen force, reflected my anger outward at the encroaching danger. With my senses heightened and a keen awareness of all that was around me, I was ready to face what awaited for me in the shadows. But I knew there was no real danger there. Not because he wasn’t a predator, but because his heart belonged with mine. That game of cat and mouse was a prelude to what would come after. The only question was who would win the upper hand.

© Sarah Doughty

Game on, mister.