Poetry

My Sun

“Make no mistake, my world did not exist
to bow at your feet. You were light,
but you were never my sun.”

I feel the emptiness today, worse than most days. And I’m not sure if I can bear to fill it back up when I know it’ll be stripped away again. Yet this is my reality. Wash, rinse, repeat. I keep going, not because I should, but because I must. You see, you were never meant to stay, let alone love me. I have other people — real people I can depend on. Make no mistake, my world did not exist to bow at your feet. You were light, but you were never my sun. So take it elsewhere, because you can’t have the satisfaction of knowing you broke me. You weren’t worth that much.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

I was meant to shine
on my own.

Poetry

Beholder Of Beauty

“The fact is, I’m not sure if you could handle
someone with intellect and a backbone.”

Perhaps if you took the time to appreciate someone for who they are instead of how they look, maybe you’d see that beauty lies within. But I’m not sure if you’re capable of understanding such depth. Maybe you were never taught to see beyond skin. Or, maybe you just don’t care. The fact is, I’m not sure if you could handle someone with intellect and a backbone. Someone that doesn’t need you. Someone beautiful — not just on the outside, but on in the inside as well. And while you judge and sneer, the rest of the world sees you for what you are.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

This is pretty relevant
as much today as it was
when I wrote it.

And that’s very unfortunate.

Poetry

Former Selves

“Because there’s always been
something about you that calls to me.
Like time and space can’t separate us.”

Sometimes I feel something linger around me from a former life. I can sense it haunting me, the memories, the souls I’ve touched, the mark I left upon this world. Sometimes I sense you, too. Because there’s always been something about you that calls to me. Like time and space can’t separate us. Like we are always searching for one another, whether we are aware of it or not. When I feel you surrounding me in the wind, I feel like I am lost. Back in the time when we were us. And I feel your emptiness.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

I can’t help but wonder
if you feel it, too.

Poetry

Roses

“Your body is beautiful. Not just
the soft parts. No part of you is ugly,
no matter what anyone says.”

Your body is beautiful. But not just the soft parts. The rose is only part of the entire flower. What good would a rose be without a little strength to protect itself? The thorns may not be as pretty as the petals, but they serve a purpose. Society has the same tendency to label things as ugly. So try to appreciate parts of you that protect you, too.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

You don’t have to label
everything about yourself
as pretty. But there is value
in appreciating everything.

Poetry

Grounded

“You to keep me grounded, reminding me
that I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

It’s been days since I’ve slept and the very foundation of my reality is shifting. I’m seeing the cracks between worlds now that my weary eyes aren’t focusing on what’s right in front of me. My skin, muscles, and sinew no longer feel just the gravity beneath me. I’m feeling a breeze where there should be none. I’m hearing whispers where there are no mouths to speak. I’m feeling the rain when I’m not outside. I am dreaming, yet I am awake. And the longer this lasts, the more I feel like I’m detaching from my body. Floating away with the storm. So, this is me. At my lowest. When I’m hyperaware and yet numb at the same time. Who knows how long I will remain in this realm of in-between? But I try not to worry about anything. Because I have you to keep me grounded. To remind me that I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

This is how insomnia feels.
What is insomnia like for you?

Poetry

Easier

“It would be easier to hate you
if you were a monster the whole time.”

There were moments when you were tender, encouraging, and kind. There were even a few times you tried to advise and empower me. Maybe that’s why I’m so conflicted about you. Maybe it would be easier to hate you or even understand you if you were a monster the whole time.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

Those moments were few
and far between,
but they were there.

I don’t often like to ponder these inconsistencies in the character of the man that took so much from me. But the fact remains, sometimes, as rare as these instances were, he suddenly became a caring human being. Perhaps it was only a means to throw me off guard. Or maybe he was an entirely different person during the day while sober. I don’t think I’ll ever know the truth.

What are your thoughts on this?

Poetry

Risks

“And, darling, I know I’d much rather live
this life with you than risk losing you.”

I’m standing at the edge of oblivion and I’m no longer certain I don’t want to explore its depths. Maybe I’ll find something beyond the darkness, something that will bring life. Perhaps rid me of these demons that follow me. But I know what I’d be leaving behind. And, darling, I know I’d much rather live this life with you than risk losing you.

© Sarah Doughty

Sometimes I have to
remind myself that I’m fighting
for more than just myself.
Can you relate?

Poetry

Hope Is Enough

“But for now, all we have left of us is hope.
Maybe, if we’re lucky, that will be enough.”

Perhaps our hearts will find each other. That love might have a chance for us in another life. Maybe then we will finally believe in fate. And find out if our souls really are bound together beyond this lifetime. But for now, all we have left of us is hope. Maybe, if we’re lucky, that will be enough.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

Maybe in another life.

Poetry

A Life

“Of all the stories we have ever created,
there’s one that outshines them all:
we created a life.”

No matter how many times I try to give my emotions justice through words, I always feel as though they aren’t enough. They don’t delve as deep as my heart resides. And it is there, in that endless abyss of love that those words fail to breach beyond the surface. I cannot tell you how much you mean to me. I cannot tell you how much I love you for more than just your vows. You see, since the beginning, you were my rock. You gave me the courage to allow myself to love you. And of all the memories we share — of all the stories you and I have ever created, there’s one that outshines them all: we created a life. Our child.

If I have failed to express my love for you, how could I ever hope to come close to describing what it means to be a mother. How it felt to have our child grow within me. The relief and sudden fear that, ready or not, we were going to be parents. And ultimately, what it means to have created life with you. Something that never ceases to amaze me.

How could words ever do it justice?

© Sarah Doughty
2018

My son will be nine
in a matter of days.
How fast time flies
when you watch your child grow.

Poetry

Values And Beliefs

“Anyone worth your time knows you are special.
So don’t forget your value as a person.”

You look beautiful in any light. You light up the room when you flash a genuine smile. Those flaws and blemishes make you who you are, like a fingerprint — one of a kind. Those scars are proof of your survival. Your intellect and talents can’t touch your beauty — and why should they? Your ability to make an impact in this world has nothing to do with your face or your body. Those qualities only enhance the belief of anyone worth your time that you are something special. So don’t forget that. Don’t forget how valuable you are as a person. Don’t forget who you are by letting the rest of the world drag you down.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

You are worth it.