Poetry

Warnings

“These are warnings.
Cautionary shadows.
Urging me to watch my step
as the future draws near.”

Tombs beneath my feet echo through my bones. Taunting me. Through unseeing eyes, I feel their inhabitants moving, writhing around to some unheard tune. It nags at my subconscious, as if whispering a question in my ear so low that even I cannot hear it. And though I don’t understand what they’re trying to tell me, I feel their intentions nonetheless. They are warnings. Cautionary shadows. Urging me to watch my step as the future draws near.

© Sarah Doughty

Foreshadowing never felt
so harrowing.

This is what my dreams feel like sometimes. As I sense some impending danger, it manifests in strange ways. Probably to make sure I don’t forget that feeling when I am awake.

Poetry

Your Darkness

“But I knew what would happen
if I let you in.
Your darkness would consume me.”

I noticed as your eyes lingered on me in the shadows. The way the light seemed to be devoured by them. How not even the stars in the night sky could make them sparkle. But that darkness didn’t deter me. I was already drawn to you. Twin black holes drawing me in. Like I could allow myself to get lost in those eyes and never worry about finding anything else ever again. And oh, how much I wanted to get lost in those eyes.

But I knew. I knew what would happen if I let you in. Your darkness would consume me.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

I wasn’t sure I would mind.

Poetry

Dreaming Reality

“Monsters slither in shadows.
Like wraiths passing between
light and darkness in nothing
more than a whisper.”

These nightmares taunt me in my sleep, threatening me even while I’m awake. It’s as if I’m in a perpetual state of fearful anticipation. That my reality will shift and the monsters will come alive. In sleep, they slither in shadows. Like wraiths passing between light and darkness in nothing more than a whisper. I’m powerless against them. All I can do is brace for the impact. And hope the dawn will come, forever separating dreams and reality.

© Sarah Doughty

All it takes is the will
to outlast them.

Poetry

Love And Fear

“Maybe this is the end. The end of us.
And maybe, you won’t disagree.
That scares me the most.”

There’s always that voice in the back of my head, warning me of what may happen one day. The inevitable moment when we are no longer an us, but you and I. When we go our separate ways, alone. I wonder what that moment will feel like. And I try to prepare myself for it. Every day, I prepare myself for those moments to happen, and then the day passes and the fears begin all over again. And sometimes, when you look at me, I think to myself that maybe this is the end. The end of us. And maybe, you won’t disagree. Maybe those will be the words that leave your mouth. And that. That scares me the most.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

Love is always stronger than fear.

Poetry

My World

“Being with you — no matter
the time or place —
makes everything else worth it.”

When I woke up in the early morning light, I turned to see your sleeping face. The tiny smile quirking at the corner of your mouth made mine pull up in response. This. Mornings with blissful silence, before the day would begin. Brief instances of calm before reality takes over and chaos begins once more. Being with you — no matter the time or place — makes everything else worth it. Through life’s ups and downs, my world is better with you. I was reminded in that moment how fortunate I was, and I didn’t ever want it to end. But at the same time, I didn’t want to take anything for granted.

© Sarah Doughty

Any world is better with you.

Poetry

Base Parts

“And this is why I believe
dreams can come true.
I found you.”

Maybe it’s naïve of me to think that my dreams began and ended with you. But when you break everything down into the base parts, all that remains is you. Without you, I couldn’t have fought my demons — waged an ongoing war against the darkness. Without you, this incredible soul we created never would have existed. And when I look into those sea-blue eyes, so full of intelligence, so full of life, I’m reminded of all that you are to me. So yes, my dreams begin and end with you. This is why I believe dreams can come true. Because I found you.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

Because I found you.

Poetry

Please

“So please, hold me close
and make all this pain go away.”

This longing is becoming more than I can bear. I’m screaming on the inside at the top of my lungs and I’m certain even my eyes are vibrating from the force of it. But on the inside, I’m still. Silent. I’m putting forward a brave face. A mask no one even noticed I’m wearing. This was how I learned to survive. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to break out of this shell. I can’t bear to be so raw. So open. So vulnerable. I can’t seem to utter the words I long to speak the most. “I need you tonight.” So please, hear my call. Just this once. Hold me close and make all this heartache and pain go away. If only for a little while.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

Can you hear me calling?

Poetry

Storm Front

“Any storm he could muster
could never make me want
to be anywhere else but by his side.”

He reminded me of thunderous afternoon showers. The turbulent winds up in the stratosphere. The deadly mixture of warmth and cold, colliding together like rogue comments at night. I knew with resounding certainty that I would take every facet of him. The good, the bad. And everything in between. I would weather any storm or howling whirlwind he could muster and it could never make me want to be anywhere else but by his side.

© Sarah Doughty

If that’s not devotion,
I’m not sure what is.

Poetry

And This Is Why

“And this is why I never wanted you
to fall in love with me.”

And this is why I never wanted you to fall in love with me. You see, my heart is darkness. It’s been stabbed. Burned. Ripped open. Ground into powder. I’m surprised it still beats within my chest. I honestly don’t know how to love you the way you deserve. I don’t know if there’s any light left to shine for you. And that thought just breaks me all over again.

© Sarah Doughty
2018

You tell me I’m enough,
and I try to believe you.

Poetry

This Warmth

“All the while, I’m haunted
by the memory of the warmth
your arms brought me.”

In this deepened state of longing, I have become accustomed to the cold. It freezes the very marrow in my bones. Crystallizes the blood flowing through my veins. And sets my skin in a frost. All the while, I’m haunted by the memory of the warmth your arms brought me. But the problem isn’t you. It never was. The issues, as they always seem, are mine. Yet I know the comfort you offer willingly at any moment, I still cannot seem to reach out for it. Perhaps it’s some deep emotional struggle locked in the deepest recesses of my soul with one part of me wanting to seek that blissful solace. All the while, that other part cannot accept it. It seems easier to say that I don’t deserve that kind of tenderness, but this feeling I cannot seem to shake is slowly eating away at me. Further isolating me from you. But how do I stop it? I don’t have the answer. I just hope that I find it before it’s too late.

© Sarah Doughty

And maybe, it already is.