Poetry

A Heart With A Home

“That moment we shared our first kiss,
I felt it. It was right. It was true.
My heart found its home.
And I knew you felt the same.”

When I looked up at the sky on that warm spring night, I saw misty clouds pass overhead. The full moon glowed with that faint blue I always loved. That silvery-white was all too common for a night like that. A moment with just you and me. The moment we took our first steps beyond friendship. You see, I already knew I loved you and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Up until that moment, I was afraid of taking that step into the unknown. There was something about the moon that night that reassured me. That said, everything will be alright. Because you’ve found your home. A place where your heart can rest. A place where you are safe and you don’t have to be afraid any longer.

That moment we shared our first kiss, I felt it down into the very marrow in my bones. It was right. It was true. My heart found its home at last. And I knew you felt the same.

© Sarah Doughty

Thank you for giving me the best seventeen years of my life. For the honor of being your wife for fourteen of those years. And for being the best father to our child for nearly nine years. Thank you for holding me through all these years and being the rock — the best home I could have ever asked for.

5/21/2005 two hearts became one.

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Poetry

Bitter Taste Of Anxiety

“I feel as though I’ve forgotten
something I cannot place.
Something that nags at my insides.”

Here I am. Faced with another moment of indecision. Another bout of insomnia mixed with the bitter taste of anxiety. It’s one of those moments where I feel as though I’ve forgotten something. Something important that I cannot place. Something nagging at my insides, telling me, “Now. It must be now.” So I do the only thing I can. Count the taps of my fingers as my mind jumps from one thought to the next, waiting for the moment I realize what I must do. But as the hours stretch on and the sun passes the horizon and reaches the top of the sky, I’m still stuck in the same pattern of unknowing. And as my eyes at last grow heavy, I’m still left wondering what it was I forgot.

© Sarah Doughty

Maybe, one day,
I’ll remember again.

Poetry

Fractured Lives

“Yes, love. You and I are broken pieces
of a fractured life. Survivors of our own wars.”

Yes, love. You and I are broken pieces of a fractured life. We have waged war. One on the inside, fighting our demons to the best of our ability. And another on the outside. The kind that shaped us into the people we are today. And though our battles weren’t the same, we know what it takes to survive. So let me tell you this: in your darkest moments, when you feel like your world is crashing down, know that I am here for you. To listen. To be a shoulder to cry upon. Or a punching bag, if that’s what you need to get back up if there ground. And I can only hope that when I stumble and fall, you will be there too help pick up my pieces too. Because that’s what true friends do.

© Sarah Doughty

And I will always
be your friend.

Poetry

Retribution Burned

“I revel in the power with a glint
of retribution burning in my eyes.”

The grumbling, crackling of thunder overhead rushes over me as the breeze increases its speed. A warning of the oncoming storm. The ominous flash, hidden behind the dark gray clouds, rolling around each other as if every part of it wants a chance to glimpse the ground beneath it. That is when I hear the leaves of the trees begin to whisper their silent songs. That is when I see the worms in the earth begin to stir, like they’re anticipating the coming rain. That is when I feel the electricity building in the air. And as those dark clouds pass overhead at last, casting me in shadow, I revel in its power with a glint of retribution burning in my eyes.

© Sarah Doughty

And then I take it all in.

A little something
from one of the antagonists
in my fiction series.

Poetry

One More Step

“Because as long as I have air in my lungs,
there is always a way to keep going.”

Sometimes I think I cannot take another step. That I’ve used every last bit of energy I could muster. Depleted all the emotion that kept pushing me and driving me to keep going. But no matter how bleak the circumstances, or how utterly hopeless my world seems, I always find a way to claw my way up from the cold, muddy ground and take another step. Because as long as I have air in my lungs, there is always a way to keep going.

© Sarah Doughty

All it takes is one more step.

Poetry

True North

“You were my true north on
an otherwise starless night.
And I will always love you.”

Of all the challenges I’ve ever faced, you were the one that showed me I could outshine them all. And that’s exactly what I’ve done. Every step of the way. Every hurdle. Every setback. There was always a new route to take. A new resolution I hadn’t realized yet. You were my true north on an otherwise starless night and I will always love you for who you are.

© Sarah Doughty

Isn’t that how love should be?

Poetry

Crumbling Foundations

“Every second we’re apart,
I feel like my world
is crumbling beneath me.”

In this flickering candlelight, I wonder if you can still read every change on my face as my thoughts linger and drift as the minutes tick by. I wonder if you’re paying attention. Seeing the pain. Witnessing the hesitation. Feeling the words I cannot bear to speak. So tell me, love. Do you notice me? Do you miss me the way I miss you?

© Sarah Doughty

Because every second we’re apart,
I feel like my world
is crumbling beneath me.

Poetry

Lighthouses

“I need you, my love. The taste of your lips.
The way you take my breath away. All of it.”

I left the lighthouse on for you, my love. Did you see it? That glint, hiding in my eyes. The desperation rushing through me to tell you everything you mean to me. That need to reach out to you and revel in every part of you. The warmth of your cheeks. The taste of your lips. The way you take my breath away and only leave me needing more. Those are the moments I crave. To have you in my arms. I left the light on for you, my love. So please, don’t get lost in the night.

© Sarah Doughty

Come back to me always.

Poetry

Hiraeth

“Home is knowing you are where you belong.
And I was lucky I found home with you.”

There’s much to be said about finding home. Because it’s more than a feeling. It’s finding the ones that accept you for who you are, no matter what you are. It’s about finding a place where you can be free to be who you are without worrying about what might be said in whispers and giggles behind your back. You see, a home is merely a place to land at the end of a weary day. But being home is knowing you are exactly where you belong, just as you are. And I was lucky I found home with you.

© Sarah Doughty

There’s no better feeling than that.

Poetry

The Blood In These Veins

“Disaster runs in my veins.
From the moment I was created,
I became a part of a tragedy.”

Disaster runs in my veins. From the moment I was created, I became a part of a tragedy. I became a victim. A liability. A worthless nothing. With a set of DNA and genes I wish with every breath I take to wipe away from my existence, taking all those awful memories with it. You see, the monster that preyed on me is long dead, yet sometimes, I’m hit with a reminder of what was. Everything that happened. The threats. The lies. The pain. The slurred words, and the hot breath that lingered with the scent of cigarettes and beer. I’m reminded that it was all real. I’m reminded once again that even in death, I cannot escape him. A disaster may run in my veins, but I refuse to let them rule my life.

© Sarah Doughty

Finding home
— a true family —
doesn’t necessarily mean
they are your
flesh and blood.