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Soft And Wild

“Don’t love our softer parts
without embracing our inner wolves.
Take us as we are or not at all.”

We didn’t learn our ferocity out of desire. We were built to challenge even the most powerful of men. We didn’t learn to love with a fierce devotion. Because anything less isn’t enough. We learned to become wild long before it was ever necessary. So don’t make the mistake of loving our softer parts without also embracing the wolves within us. Take us as we are or not at all.

The bottom line is this: Don’t mess with women who run with wolves. We have teeth and we know how to use them.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

After all, we’ve been doing it since the beginning of mankind.

Prompt: Women Who Run With Wolves
hosted by the amazing Christine
at Brave And Reckless.

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When I Miss You The Most

“Without you, there is silence and an emptiness
within me where my heart used to be.”

When I’m standing in the rain, feeling the warm water slide down my face, indistinguishable from my own tears, I listen to the sounds of each shaky breath I take, trying desperately not to sob. While it feels like the rest of the world is at peace, dry, and safe, I remember what it was like to dance with you to no other song than the droplets impacting the world around us. I remember the feel of your lips moving against mine. Without you, all I can stand is silence and there’s an emptiness within me where my heart used to be.

© Sarah Doughty
2015

My world is too cold without you.

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Forgotten

“I was blissfully in love with you.
But then reality hit and a part of me died.”

Long ago, you knew me. I was a different person. Happy. Blissfully in love with you. But now, all of that is forgotten. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t remember what it was like to be happy. Content. Safe. I was hit with reality and lost everything else. You see, a part of me died. I’m different. Lost. Forgotten. A skeleton of my former self. A jumble of missing pieces that can’t be glued back together again.

This is me now. A memory. And this skeleton is all that remains of me.

© Sarah Doughty
2015

This skeleton has more than enough pain to bear.

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Where I Am Home

“Maybe one day, I’ll find my way
back to life. Back to you.”

Sometimes it feels like we’re worlds apart. In many ways, that’s true. Your world is full of color. Full of life, laughter, and love. But mine is everything else. There’s no such thing as technicolored kaleidoscopes. There’s no blue skies or green grass. Only black, white, and gray. It’s a desolate place. A place full of desperation and longing. A place where I’m stuck on the sidelines, watching life pass me by. Sitting on that bench as everything spirals out of my control. I constantly question what’s real? What’s left? What would happen if I was gone? Would anyone even notice?

In this world — my world — I’m powerless. Silent. Broken. And that suits me. I was built for this kind of life. He made me this way. I’m separated by invisible walls, fortified by what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. And a tinge of bitterness, shame, and memories lingers on the air. The good parts of me are lost somewhere in there too, but I can’t find them. They’re buried under all the rest, and it’s suffocating me.

All I want is to get to the other side. Where there’s no distance. Where there’s color. Where I can live again. Where I am home. But I don’t know how long that will take. If I’ll ever make it. So I’m doing my best to make this place as comfortable as possible. Maybe one day, I’ll find my way back to life. Back to you. Where I can finally be home.

© Sarah Doughty
2015

Wouldn’t you say I’ve suffered enough?

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Baited And Lost

“You caught my heart before I realized it.
Maybe I loved you all along.”

You were like bait on a hook, your eyes captivated me like nothing ever before. I was mesmerized by that infinite blue of your gaze.

Heat crawled up my neck as my vision turned red. You knew exactly what to say to push me on edge.  To wake, me up. Even from anger. But I lost every fight. Because you were always one step ahead.

Despite the fact that you drove me mad, I knew, even then, you were someone I would never forget. And maybe, if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t hate you. You caught my heart before I realized it was hooked.

Maybe I loved you all along.

© Sarah Doughty
2015

Maybe, I was born loving you.

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Challenge The System

“Women continue to do
what we always do across history —
challenge the system.”

Would it really be so bad to consider a woman equal to a man? Would it be so terrible to think a woman’s intelligence shouldn’t be overlooked? Perhaps, if given a true chance to prove ourselves, rather than relying on any bias, women might hold more power. Perhaps it’s all wishful thinking. After all, the ones with power are less likely to share it. But that’s okay, maybe one day a utopia will fall upon us and we’ll all become feminists. But until then, women will continue to do what we have always done across history — challenge the system to change.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

After all, we’ve been doing this for a long time. We can keep going as long as it takes.

Prompt: We Should All Be Feminists
hosted by the amazing Christine
at Brave And Reckless.

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Shadow And Whisper

“And it’s only a matter of time
before I am nothing more
than shadow and whisper too.”

This prison of mine has become my home. The sunlight creeps in and all I can do is watch the shadows dance across the flor. Look at the yellow print on the walls and wonder what might be hidden there. There’s this nagging inside at me. If only I could focus hard enough, I might be able to see those figures I notice moving in the corner of my eye. Or maybe, if I wait long enough, those barely discernable whispers will become louder. Clearer. Maybe. Just maybe. I won’t be so alone. But I won’t hold my breath. This room smells of death. And I know it’s only a matter of time before I am nothing more than shadow and whisper too.

© Sarah Doughty

2019

Maybe then, I won’t be so alone.

Prompt: The Yellow Wallpaper
hosted by the amazing Christine
at Brave And Reckless.

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The Look

“I saw the look in his eyes.
The look that told me
how much he loved me.”

In that instant, it was just one look. That was all it took. One look that said everything. I saw the look in his eyes. The look that told me how much he loved me. I didn’t want that moment to end. But as the darkness spread in my vision, I hoped that he could read the look on my face and know how much I loved him too.

Before everything went silent.

© Sarah Doughty
2015

This was one of the scenes from my first novel, Just Breathe. Though it’s not the final draft version, the moment was still the same. Aisling and Connor will always be my first loves.

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Darkest Moments

“No matter how lost you feel,
don’t give up. You’ll beat it.
You’ll overcome it.”

In the darkest moments, when you’re left with nothing but the memories, the ghosts of your past and the demons that lurk in the deepest recesses of your mind — those are when you are the most vulnerable. Those are the moments that can tear you into pieces and leave behind the tattered remains of who you once were. When your emotions overwhelm you and you want nothing more than to shut them off or turn them around. But they’re on a one way street and the brakes have failed.  The moments we fail to see who we really are. When we lose sight of what we have. Forget all the good. And focus on all the bad.

But sometimes there’s that tiny bit of white light, nothing more than a pin prick. A needle point amidst all that blackness. Like the only star in an otherwise infinite, starless night. When you find it, you know you have it. You’ll beat it. You’ll overcome it.

That tiny little beacon is a little thing called hope.

© Sarah Doughty
2015

Sometimes, hope is all we have to hold on to.

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Her Peace

“There’s a magic in the dark of night.
It’s a feeling if going home.”

There’s something about gazing out into the infinite expanse of the sea. But not just anytime. There’s a magic in the dark of night. Those gentle waves illuminated by a full moon. It’s a feeling of going home, when the eyes focus on that little strip of light, fading off into the distance. That’s the power of the pale blue glow of the moon shining on the waves. And whenever you feel lost, just look at her beautiful face in the sky and what she illuminates beneath her. If you’re lucky enough to look out into the ocean at the same time, you’ll know what peace feels like.

© Sarah Doughty
2016

From my first poetry collection,
The Silence Between Moonbeams.