What I Need

“Wanting is one thing,
but need is entirely different.
I needed you and you were mine.”

I find myself thinking about the what ifs. What would I be doing if my circumstances were different. If I could live wherever I wanted. But then I reign myself back in. Because reality is what it is, and I have what I need. Wanting is one thing, but need is entirely different. I needed to write, so I write. I needed you and you were mine. That is always something to be grateful for.

It was always you. Yes, you. No matter who you are, where you are, or how you look, or how we are connected. You are here, reading these words. My soul is connected with yours in this one, finite moment.

© Sarah Doughty

Thank you for being here with me.

Poetry, PTSD and Awareness, Uncategorized, Updates

Testify! – A Collaboration

A piece of grave importance that is very relevant and needed in today’s society. Please take a few minutes to give this one a read.

Blood Into Ink


Elephants in the arena,
drowning out the stories as
we all hear them,
stomping on
the flowerbed scenery
they’ve built around your garden of rot,
and without a
second thought,
sold the world a
wilting centerpiece
(Nicholas Gagnier)

And His Daughter Prayed for Her
She didn’t really know why
She prayed she’d not meet a guy
At a party; ‘cause he’d liked beer
That sudsy stuff she’d now fear


The louder we toast
The better the truth we spew
Just another pint
The truth becomes toxic stew
We’ll all agree
Got the votes of the old crew
Now let’s all meet
At Four P’s and grab a brew
(Stephen Fuller)

Oh! look at him
when the venom drips from his slithering tongue
and he moans and screams
to validate his flagrant lies
and the white privilege
agrees in complete unison

Hiding behind the female prosecutor

View original post 697 more words



“And then there’s you.
You were, and always will be,
my epic love.”

When the season changes from summer to fall, and then steadily towards winter, I’m reminded that we, as people, have seasons too. On a cellular level, we shed our old selves and become new again. In a way, I find that quite romantic. How we can try to follow that same mentality when it comes to our experiences, our triumphs, our failures — our eras?

My childhood was the dark ages. I’m not sure what I would call my current phase. But that’s okay. I’m on a beautiful journey. And the best part of it all is that I’m not alone. There have been friends that have come and gone. There are friends that remain. The ones that lift me up as I try to do the same for them. They are irreplaceable. They are home. And then there’s you. You were, and always will be, my epic love. My greatest strength. My weakness, if only in the ruin that would remain if I lost you.

So, if you’re reading this, thank you for being a part of this era of my life.

© Sarah Doughty

Thank you for being
on this journey with me.


A Life Of Worth

“Thank you for loving me
and making life worth living.”

I have spent enough time living in hell to know that this is far from it. In comparison, it’s like a bump in the road. But if it weren’t for you, and your unwavering support, it wouldn’t have been a bump in the road. It would have been a new kind of hell. So thank you, for being here. Thank you for making life better. A little easier. Thank you for loving me and making life worth living.

© Sarah Doughty

Because life isn’t easy.
I never claimed it was.
But loving you
changes everything.


Never Again

“I promised myself that I would stop
writing about you. This is that time.”

I promised myself time and time again that I would stop writing about you. About how I miss you in a way that feels like a hole was left behind in my chest. It was never meant to last, I see that now. And I admit, I’m loyal to a fault. But enough is enough. I need to let you go, because whatever we shared was never real, as I thought. I’m not being fair to myself. I don’t deserve to torture myself over you any longer. So, this is that time. To forgive myself. And to finally move on from you.

© Sarah Doughty

I don’t deserve
this self-inflicted torture
I’m putting myself through.


More Than Ever

“I never thought it was possible,
but I love you more than ever before.”

I never thought it was possible, but I do love you more than I did in the beginning. It seems as though every day, you do something that proves your devotion. You make me laugh, sometimes so hard that I cry. You make me see the lighter side of things, when I’m in my darkest moments. You drop everything if you think I need you. But it’s more than that. It’s the person I’ve known for all these years that continues to show me how I am loved. And that is a miracle.

© Sarah Doughty

Thank you for letting me love you.


Rogue Comets

“And that. The passion we shared.
Oh, how much I miss it.”

We crashed together in the night like a pair of rogue comets. There were flashes. Explosions. And we both disintegrated into bits of rubble and stardust. And that. The passion we once shared. I don’t think I can emphasize how much I miss it. Being with you. Without a care in the world. Where nothing else mattered but you and me and the sounds we could elicit from one another. The way we would pour all the intensity into each other and leave nothing behind.

So, my love, I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I’ve lost that part of me. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll find it again one day. Hopefully, you’ll still be with me when it happens.

© Sarah Doughty

Please, don’t give up on me yet.


Broken Hearts

“But I will tell you this, my love.
I would break my own heart for you.”

Maybe you will understand how much I need you if I let you go. Not for my sake, but for yours. Maybe you will see how much I burden you with my demons. My darkness. And maybe, at first, you’ll think I’m just trying to pull away. Or maybe, you’ll let go of my hand and let me go without hesitation.

I’m not sure which would hurt me the most. But I will tell you this. If it would make you happier, I would willingly break my own heart. I would do that for you. I would let you go, if only to give you a chance to be free. Free from my dark. Free from my broken soul. Free from me.

© Sarah Doughty

So tell me, do you think
your life would be
brighter without me?



“Being yours.
That was the best thing
to ever happen to me.”

Gratitude is within every beat of my heart. It is written upon every bone in my body. It flows through my veins. I was given a chance to live through hell. I was asked to become someone’s life. Someone’s future. A wife. And I was granted the chance to become a mother. Having a family of my own was my gift. A miracle. One of the best accomplishments of my life. I can only hope that I fulfill those roles to the best of my ability. I can only hope I do it well.

© Sarah Doughty

Thank you for choosing me.



“Oh, but darling, how can I bring
any light to your life if all I am
is darkness personified?”

I’ve been down here in this darkness for so long that I’ve forgotten what it means to be bathed in light. I’ve forgotten what it means to feel sunlight on my skin. And all the while, I’ve taken you for granted. As you hold me up and break your back in the process, I lash out when I feel like I’m drowning in the dark. How can I tell you how sorry I am for putting you through that? How can I bring any light to your life if all I am is darkness personified?

© Sarah Doughty

How do I hold you
in the light?