Waiting For It

“In that moment, I knew.
I knew I would wait an eternity
just for one kiss.”

I wanted to taste his lips like nothing I’d ever felt before. My mouth tingled at the thought. And I couldn’t help but wonder how my taste buds would ignite with excitement, like tasting chocolate for the first time in years. That was what it felt like, to watch that small, knowing smile on those perfect lips. To see those deep eyes, seeing right through me. As if he could read my mind and knew just what I wanted. And he planned to make me wait for it.

In that moment, I knew. I knew I would wait an eternity just for one kiss.

© Sarah Doughty

It would be worth it.

Advertisements

Anticipation

“So, my love, won’t you take
all these thoughts away
and help me get lost in you?”

The mere thought
of having your hands
travel across my body
in a slow,
agonizing motion
leaves me weak
in the knees.
And I’m shaking
like a leaf,
anticipating the next time
those hands of yours
will find my skin again.
These goosebumps
only serve as a reminder
of how much
I crave your touch.
So, my love,
won’t you take
all these thoughts away
and help me get lost in you?

© Sarah Doughty

I need to feel you
like I need air in my lungs.

Censorship

“No, I will not censor myself.
It’s my goddamn choice.
And it’s my goddamn voice.”

I’m tired. So very tired. I’m tired of being told that I need to get over my traumatic past. That I need to focus on the future, not dwell in the past. That I should “snap out” of this darkness that has its iron grip around my neck, cutting off my air.

I’m tired of being told I should censor myself. That I should take better care of what I decide to share with the world. But here’s the thing: I’m tired of caring. I share my truth. Good or bad, I share it. And people tell me I’m giving them hope. That I’m giving words to what they feel.

It’s my goddamn choice. And it’s my goddamn voice. I choose to do what I do to help people. No one deserves to feel alone.

© Sarah Doughty

If you can’t accept that,
then trample your dirty feet
all over your own home
and stay out of mine.

Mirror Love

“I have never once looked in the mirror
and said, ‘I love you.’
I think it’s long overdue.”

I have never once looked in the mirror and said, “I love you.” Perhaps I was afraid I didn’t deserve it. Or maybe there just was no point. But there is. And the more I think about it, the more I’ve realized that I do. I do love myself. After everything my body and mind did to protect me and keep the good alive — along with the hope. I survived. That is something worth loving — especially since that person is me.

© Sarah Doughty

I think it’s long overdue,
don’t you think?

Can You Hear Me

“I wonder, darling, can you feel me
when I say I love you?”

There’s a building, a crescendo of thoughts that build up in my head until there’s no room left for any more words. But yet, they keep coming like a freight train with no mechanism to slow itself down. That’s when my head begins to feel as though it’s overflowing. Complete sentences begin to fall from my eyes as salty tears. Broken and jagged phrases hitch at the back of my throat. Outwardly, you see me as I am. Trapped behind a wall with no other way to express myself than through emotion. This is what it feels like to be trapped. This is what it means to have ink flowing in my pen. At least that way, I won’t always look like I’m in despair.

But you’ve always known me better than that. Without uttering a word, you feel me. And that means more to me than you will ever know.

© Sarah Doughty

I wonder, darling,
can you feel me
when I say I love you?

The Answer

“For you and me,
I think staying in limbo
is the better option.”

I’m not sure what to believe any more these days. I don’t know whether I’ve hit a crossroads and I just don’t know which direction to turn. I’m not even sure if there’s anything actually changing. At least on the outside. But on the inside, I feel like something has shifted. Whatever it is, it’s almost tangible, like I can feel it crawling beneath my skin. Like maybe, it’ll make itself known sooner rather than later.

I’m not sure if I want anything to change — especially not for the worse. And I suppose, that’s part of the problem. I’m always expecting life to knock me down, not to help lift me up. Maybe nothing will happen. I suppose there’s only one way to find out. I have to let it happen, whatever it may be.

© Sarah Doughty

For you and me,
I think perhaps staying in limbo
is the better option.

Retribution Calling

“Sometimes I just can’t help myself.
Retribution whispers my name like a lover
and I answer its call.”

Sometimes I just can’t help myself. It’s not just the fire in my heart or the silver in my voice slicing up into the sky like a scythe. No. That’s the desire I feel.

Retribution whispers back my name like a lover. And I cannot help myself. I answer its call. Because it knows my scent just as well as yours. And I wonder, can feel it coming? Can you feel the burn yet?

© Sarah Doughty

You will. You will.

Inspired by the incredible Saide H. Ranero.
Find her on Instagram, too.

Dreamscapes

“The instant we connected,
I knew we were more than
two souls passing by.”

The instant we connected, I knew we were more than just two souls passing by. It felt like there was so much more to the story. That it would be forever unfinished. And even now, I feel you as if you’re still with me. Connected in some way.

Loving you was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. And it will be something branded into my memory. Something I will keep forever.

© Sarah Doughty

Or maybe it was all just a dream.

Best Dreaming

“My best dreams are the ones
where I’m with you.”

You see, my dreams have always been scattered. Stuck somewhere between what was, what is, and what could be. While I’m dreaming, I’m never really sure where I am until I’m awake again. Sometimes, the dreams can’t stop soon enough. But others — those special nights when I believe my dreams might actually be true — I find that I’m caught between two different worlds. The one that’s real. And the one that exists beyond this existence. That’s where I am when I’m with you. That’s where I feel most alive. That’s where I feel free — b e c a u s e I’m with you.

© Sarah Doughty

Right where I’m supposed to be.

Shipping And Handling

“Oh love, you are not a stain on anyone.
You are so much more.”

Oh love, you are not a stain on anyone. You are not a mistake. You are not a burden. Or anything else people may have said to you as they put you in a box of labels where none ever seemed to fit. They are a reflection of their own ignorance. So remember: you are so much more. You are so much more.

© Sarah Doughty

You are so much more
than their narrow minds
and judgements.