I Found You

“After years of believing I was nothing,
I found you. And you accepted me anyway.”

Sometimes I wonder how I managed to find so much luck. After years of believing I was nothing, I found you. And you saw me for me. All my broken parts, and shattered pieces. Even so, you accepted me all the same. You found a kindred spirit in me. “I am damaged,” I said. But you never let that stop you. If anything, it brought you closer to me. Like I was fragile at times, but still able to stand on my two feet. Thank you for everything you’ve done. Thank you for being here for me.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Thank you for you.

Flaws And All

“I was too scared to love you.
But that’s the thing. I already did.”

And this is how the story goes. It always begins the same way. I drift off to sleep and I find I’m reliving all those mistakes. The ones that pushed you away. The ones that led me further away from where my heart wanted to be. Perhaps I was too scared to allow myself to be so vulnerable for loving you. But that’s the thing. I already loved you. With everything I was. Yet I denied it with every breath I took. And I thought, maybe, if I held you at arm’s length, that maybe you’d give up and move on. But you never did. I could see the hurt in your eyes, with every attempt to drive you away. By some luck of fate, you didn’t give up on me. You waited until I needed you. You waited until I couldn’t deny what I felt any longer. I felt like the luckiest person in the world when you opened your arms and accepted me. Flaws and all.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

So please, don’t ever stop
reminding me that
you’re here to stay.

Wayward Souls

“What were there odds of us —
our wayward souls finding each other?”

Maybe it was fate that found us together that night. Or maybe it was chance. Just hearts calling out through the darkness hoping someone — anyone — would answer. What were the odds, I wonder, that two wayward souls would manage to find two empty seats just waiting to be taken? What were the odds that I would find you sitting there, as if you were waiting for me?

© Sarah Doughty
2019

If that’s not fate,
I don’t know what to call it.

Din Of Dreams

Photo credit the lovely Jessica of @rusticbones

“I’ve been sleepwalking, searching for you
in the din of my dreams.”

I’ve been sleepwalking, searching for you in the din of my dreams. As if you’re somehow through the white noise and haze, waiting for me on the other side. But all I seem to do is wake up with the memory of how you used to feel in my arms. And the memories aren’t enough to keep me warm. But no matter what I do, the cold always seeps up through my bare feet. It just leaves me craving you more. And I don’t know if I’ll ever wake to find you on the other side. But I know, I don’t mind looking. And if that day ever comes that I find you, it’ll be worth it.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Finding you again
will always be worth it.

Keep Moving

“Oh, but darling, I’m so lost. But I know
I can find you if I can just keep moving.”

This heart of mine, darling, is lost. It’s been wandering for so long, in search of you, that it seems it doesn’t matter where I turn, you are never there. And I wonder, too, if you were ever real at all, or just some dream that turned into a nightmare, leaving me alone in this cold, dark oblivion. If you’re out there, please call out. I know I can find you if I can just keep moving.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

I just have
to keep moving.

Hearts Of Dreamers

“Maybe that’s all we were. Dreamers.
And we knew the end was coming. Our end.”

Maybe that’s all we were. Dreamers. And somewhere, deep down, we knew the day would come that we would wake up and all of what we shared would be behind us. It was something we knew hovered on the horizon, but like any other mirage, we didn’t realize how close it was after all. And once it’s all said and done, the only thing that remains is memories. I have to admit, I wasn’t ready for reality to set in. I wasn’t ready for the end. Our end. But here we are, going our separate ways. I couldn’t help but wonder if we took a wrong turn somewhere. Nevertheless, the memories are all I have to hold on to.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

And my heart will
never be the same again.

Wonderings

“And my love, please remember that
you mean everything to me.”

It was the sound of your laugh. How it would echo through the air like an eagle soaring through the sky. It was the sparkle in your eyes. How you wouldn’t hide who you were. And the concept of wearing a false mask was unknown to you. Those are the moments that make me pause. I wonder how long you’ll still know pure joy. I wonder if you’ll get lucky and never know what it feels like to have your heart broken. I wonder if you’ll know, sixty years from now, that I loved you with everything I had. And know, that I tried. Tried to keep you safe but not caged. And know, that I tried to let you know each and every day how much you meant to me. That you meant everything to me.

So please remember this: you mean everything to me.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Because you do.
And long after I’m gone,
my love will still linger.

Carrying Hope

“If nothing else, I’ll carry hope for you.
Because to me, that’s all that you are.”

Oh love. You still have hope. If nothing else, I’ll carry it for you. Even in those moments when you feel like it’s nothing but a distant memory.

Because to me, you are hope. You are an endless supply of it. An ocean, not of sadness, but deep and every droplet is a bit of hope you can’t help but shine into the world. How every wave is a good intention. How every storm brewing over those waters are nothing more than a means to stir the tides and drown out anything that hopes to ruin everything hope stands for.

You are peace. You are infinite. And you constantly leave me in awe.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

How can you not see
how beautiful that is?

For my moon sisters.

Finding Home With Him

“With every cell in my body, every beat
of my heart, I knew I found my home.”

Our time together was a culmination of events that I couldn’t deny. I knew, if I didn’t love him before that moment, I fell over the edge into a bottomless ocean that was only for him. I knew I was never going back. So instead of speaking, I kissed him, hard. When my lips collided with his, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. And his arms tightened around me an instant later.

That was when I knew. With every cell in my body, every beat of my heart, I knew I found my home.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

I knew I found my home.

An excerpt,
slightly adjusted for sharing,
from my first novel, Just Breathe.

Fates And Coincidences

Photo credit @lauramakabresku.

“I don’t believe in coincidences anymore.
Because I have you.”

And we found each other. Through the darkness. After years of growing, choices, tragedies, triumphs, and failures, we met. At long last. Perhaps there were regrets or even memories we wished we could erase from our lives. But we couldn’t deny the instant we met. When our worlds collided into one. Somehow, I knew, that whatever those dark parts of us were there before were suddenly lit aglow like a bioluminescent firefly just after the last day’s light faded from the sky. They weren’t parts to be ashamed. They weren’t choices to be regretted. Because we found each other. And I knew, on some level, you felt the same.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

I don’t believe in coincidences anymore.
Because I have you.
So you see, you changed
everything for the better.
Fate dealt the cards.
And we won the hand.