Cold Hearts

“Sometimes cold hearts can beat
when they prey on something warm.”

And it feels like a part of my heart was ripped out of my chest for no reason other than to see how much it would hurt. I suppose that’s what you have to be prepared for when you bare your soul to the world — not everyone will be there to offer you a safe place to rest when you are weary. Not everyone will give you shelter from the rain. And not everyone will offer you a blanket when you are cold. Because sometimes cold hearts can only keep beating when they prey on something warm.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

And you took your fill.

Mirrors And Silence

“No matter how much hatred you hold,
try looking in a mirror.”

Take all this blood, for I have no use of it any longer. Take all the tears, for they have filled oceans. Take all these thoughts, for they have lived, loved, and lost. But you can never take my heart or my soul, for that is what defines me. And no matter how much jealousy or hatred you hold for me, try looking in a mirror. Maybe then you’ll understand why you feel alone.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

And maybe then
you’ll realize how
heartless you’ve been.

Venomous

“I saw behind those sweetly-spoken words
and could feel the venom behind them.”

It was a calculated effort. A sly attempt to tear me down with no trace back to its source. A misguided lie and a perception of innocence. But I saw through it. I saw behind those sweetly-spoken words and could feel the venom behind them. And that was when I knew I’d caught you. That was when I realized an enemy was disguised as a friend.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Karma is a powerful force.

Gnawing Ache

“And it was then that I knew
what heartache and loss felt like.”

It was the silence. The empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. The undeniable feeling that I’d lost something significant. Something I couldn’t define or even name. But it was a gnawing ache that continued to grow. And it wasn’t until I’d lived with that feeling for what seemed like a lifetime that I woke in the middle of the night with the whisper of your name on my tongue. And it was then that I knew what heartache and loss felt like.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Because I lost everything.

Cat And Mouse

“There was no danger from my predator.
Because his heart belonged with mine.”

It was the fire. The flames that burned into my eyes, as if a raging pyre burned and smoldered in front of me, when there was nothing there but the stillness of the night under the full moon. My eyes, like mirrors to an unseen force, reflected my anger outward at the encroaching danger. With my senses heightened and a keen awareness of all that was around me, I was ready to face what awaited for me in the shadows. But I knew there was no real danger there. Not because he wasn’t a predator, but because his heart belonged with mine. That game of cat and mouse was a prelude to what would come after. The only question was who would win the upper hand.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Game on, mister.

Risks

“When it comes to loving you,
I would risk anything to be with you.”

It’s the danger, you see. The kind that erupts across your skin like goose bumps. The kind that makes the hair on the back of your neck rise as if the adrenaline rushing through your veins sets off static electricity. It’s the way your pupils dilate and struggle to stay open as you try not to miss anything that might be lurking around you.

That’s what I feel when I’m around you. That danger. But I know the difference between being prey and being able to hold my ground by your side. Because you and I, we stand together. As partners. As equals. So when it comes to loving you, I would risk anything to be with you. For I am yours and that will never change.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Forever yours to fight
by your side.

Infinities

“Looking into his eyes felt like seeing infinity.
And I never wanted to look away.”

When his eyes drifted down to my lips, I could feel the burn of his gaze. I could feel the itch where his eyes touched my skin and it only made me want to taste him all the more. I wanted to feel his lips against mine like I spiked a fever and his kiss was the only remedy. But it couldn’t compare to the feeling of excitement when his gaze drifted back up to mine. In that look, it seemed like a thousand words were said without a sound escaping from our lips. Looking into his eyes felt like seeing infinity. It was then I knew, without a doubt, he had my whole heart for my whole life. I couldn’t help myself. I never wanted that moment to end.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

So please, don’t ever
stop reminding me
that we are infinite.

Your Flame

“You drew me in like a moth to flame
and I knew I’d never look back.”

This protectiveness I feel for you isn’t just something that happened at the flip of a switch. First, it was the way your eyes looked as the sun hit them, as if the light made them glow from within. Then it was you. Your bravery. The fierce determination running through your veins. The imperfect, vulnerable, yet fierce warrior in you that makes me want to stand by your side and fight your battles right alongside you. You see, loving someone goes beyond the word. You drew me in like a moth to flame and I knew I’d never look back. If it meant going to war or helping you reach up into the sky to pluck your dream from the universe to make it a reality, I will be there.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

I will always be there.

All The Places

“No matter where you are,
know that someone is by your side.”

Of all the places we have been, all the things we have experienced — good or bad — I feel a kinship with you. I can feel the longing in your broken heart. I can feel the excitement and overwhelming joy when you realized you’ve fallen in love. I’ve seen tragedies. Experienced them. And I’ve lived. Just like you. So no matter where you are or where you’re going, know that someone is by your side.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

And I’m never leaving.

With Everything

“I love you with everything that I am,
but do you feel the same way?”

Nostalgia takes over these days, it seems. Memories of what was. Memories of the way your hand held mine. The way your lips felt, or the way my skin tingled when we made contact. I even remember the way you once looked at me. And though you say you still do, I fail to notice it. Maybe it’s because I’m blind to it. Or maybe, I don’t see it because deep down, I question if it was originally a figment of my imagination. And that’s when my mind begins to scatter. When I begin to wonder if those really days weren’t as magical as I thought they were. Or worse, that maybe when you say you love me, it isn’t, and possibly never was, as intense as I felt for you. And just like that, the nostalgia turns from those happy, early days, to something darker. Something I can’t bear to look at too closely, because then, my fears might be real after all. That I love you with everything that I am, but you don’t feel the same way in return.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

I’m not sure I want
to know the answer.