Scraps

“I was no one.
And, in a way, I still am.
But I learned long ago to take scraps.”

When I was still a child, I was no one. Because who could possibly care for a broken little girl like me? But, every damn day, I appreciated the fact that I was still alive. That alone gave me hope. Those rare bits of honest kindness from others were like icing on the cake. I took what I could get and fought through another day.

That was the world I knew. That is the world I still know. But that’s okay. Because I learned long ago to take scraps.

© Sarah Doughty
2017

No matter who you are
or what you’ve survived,
you deserve more than scraps.
You deserve to be treated with importance.

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This Allure

“Everything about you holds me captive.
And I don’t ever want to escape.”

And this feeling I have is building inside. It holds me tight and mesmerizes me by its allure. It’s the wanting of you. How my lips itch to connect with yours. How my ears try to catch every sound you make. How my fingertips crave the sensation of you. From your skin to the softness of your hair, I am held captive. But it’s not something I ever want to escape.

© Sarah Doughty

It’s strange,
being enchanted by you
is more comforting
than I ever thought possible.

Travels

“The next day always comes.
Just remember to keep going.”

This world isn’t black and white, but so many people perceive it that way. I’ve seen beyond the gray and into a place where even shadows have some light to dance with. I’ve seen the rainbows after the storms and felt their pain, as if for once they’d like to be granted a wish.

I’ve felt the wind and how whispers carry. I’ve heard the trees reaching just a little higher to catch some of those words. Even though this world is often dark and no other souls are in sight, I can still feel you there, like you’re right behind me. And if I turn around, I might catch a glimpse of you there. But the space where I feel you is empty.

It’s always empty. But if I look beyond what my eyes can see, I will see you in between life and dreams. And if we’re both lost, all we need to do is find the wind. She always knows how to bring us home. And it is there we will find each other in the dark.

© Sarah Doughty
2017

This was inspired, in part,
by the lovely Wilder of @wilderpoetry.

Sleepy Daylit Eyes

“The next day always comes.
Just remember to keep going.”

I thought, once upon a time, that fireflies gathered together just beyond the horizon, and combined their bio-luminescent bodies into what people called the sun. My sleepy eyes would watch, and wonder what it would be like to shine up there with them. Together. To make daylight possible. To make the sky turn blue by reflecting their light back at them. And let the clouds take center stage.

Those giants could be fluffy, white cotton candy, with the sun glimmering through them. Or they would blanket the sky, rumble and cry, like I so often wanted to do. And sometimes I did. Because I knew, I wasn’t the only one in so much pain. But then there were days when the expanse of the sky was empty. Nothing but blue as far as my eyes could touch.

But no matter what happened during the day, I was sad to see those fireflies heading towards the horizon, slowly dimming their light as they went, welcoming the moon to rise and take their place.

© Sarah Doughty
2017

The next day always comes.
Remember to make the most
of your time.

Hold Me Together

“My love, you are all the comfort I need.
So promise you’ll hold me when I fall apart.”

I can feel it starting. The breaking. The cracks in my resolve. The emotions bubbling up and seeping through any weak point it can find. And I know it’s coming. The undoing. The inevitable fall to the floor in nothing more than a jumble of raw nerves, pain, and tears. But you’re right next to me and I cannot help but wonder if you’d be my shoulder. If you knew how much I needed to be wrapped in your arms and held together, would you do it? Would you be the brace I’d need to hold me upright? Would you hold me while I fall apart?

© Sarah Doughty

It’s okay to feel.
And it’s okay to turn
to someone you trust
for comfort.
It doesn’t make you weak.
It makes you human.

Inspired by
my wonderful friend,
Dipendra Tamang of @thangbalay.

Fireflies At Night

“And darling, I do.
Flaws and all.
I shine like the moon.”

The stars flickered and danced above my head. Like fireflies just beyond my little, outstretched fingers. They dotted across the expanse and my eyes filled with dreams of a better life. Even as the moon took center stage, it never felt complete, looking up at infinity, without seeing the stars there, too. Without them, it felt like an incomplete canvas. It felt like pieces of me were gone. But somehow, I knew, they were still up there, hiding. Reminding me that it’s okay to feel lost. To be invisible. Because one day, I would learn to shine like the moon.

And darling, I do. Flaws and all. I shine like the moon.

I am my own home.

© Sarah Doughty
2017

It’s okay to feel lost.

Selfish Thinking

“Wanting you is selfish thinking
and I was taught that nothing
good or happy could ever be mine.”

It is through shivering lips and unspoken promises that I reach out to you. It isn’t just for the warmth. It isn’t just for the safety. But out of hope that your vows wouldn’t crumble under the pressure. Do we hold on? Like two souls drifting in the ocean, treading water in hopes that we can find rescue before we slip beneath the surface. Or do we part ways forever? I know what my heart needs — you. But that is selfish thinking and I was taught that nothing good or happy could ever be mine. If I let you go, then, I wouldn’t make life so difficult for you. I wouldn’t be your burden to bear.

© Sarah Doughty
2017

I need you.
It’s just that simple.

Alignment

“You see, I’m the lucky one.
I get to call you mine, just as I am yours.”

Sometimes, I feel like words aren’t anough. They can’t quite capture all you are. Beyond the surface and underneath. There’s so much beauty there on the inside too. And it’s hard to describe how you make me feel. You see, I’m the lucky one to have you in my life. I cannot help but wonder what sort of cosmic alignment allowed such a thing to happen, but I get to call you mine, just as I am yours. It never feels like enough, because you are so much more.

© Sarah Doughty

But I don’t mind trying
to list them all over
and over again.

Awestruck

“Oh, but darling,
you are the one that
leaves me in awe.”

Over the years, I’ve watched you grow into this unique person. Someone wise beyond their years. Someone with depth, emotion, and empathy. Ever since I felt you growing within me, I knew you would make a remarkable creature. Something even the gods would admire. Because you are everything that is good and pure in this world and I want to keep you that way for as long as I possibly can. And in those moments with the harsh world tries to pull you down, remember that you are the one that leaves me in awe.

Happy birthday to my little one. Seven years has gone by and every day, he’s shown me just how important I am in his world. I’m the lucky one. I’m the one in awe. And when I see him embracing his creativeness, it fills me with so much happiness I feel like I could burst.

© Sarah Doughty
2017

Freedom To Love

“Love was never
supposed to be defined.
Love is meant to be free.”

Love was never supposed to be defined by color, religion, or gender. It shouldn’t matter what they look like on the outside. Love speaks from the heart and the mind. Not someone’s genitals.

© Sarah Doughty
2017

Let me note that this does not mean I’m advocating for any illegal activity. Two consenting adults should be all that matters. Not the color of their skin, their religion, or their genitals.