Poetry

A New Day

“Living — even when there’s nothing but misery
— is so much better than being numb.”

It felt like floating in space, somewhere between awake and dreaming. It was an infinite oblivion of nothing. There was no pain. No suffering. No love. And no joy. It invited me in with a warm embrace, and for an instant I wanted to get lost there. In that place of nothingness. But then something warned me in the back of my mind that I shouldn’t give in. Living — even when there’s pain, misery, and heartache — is so much better than being numb and unplugged from reality. I gave myself a moment to bask in that space, and then opened my eyes to face a new day.

© Sarah Doughty

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Poetry, Updates

You Must Be New Here — A Weyward Sisters Collaboration

“Here’s a good rule of thumb:
If you don’t want to be called Tiny,
then don’t call me Baby.”

© Sarah Doughty

This was just a small sample of a much larger badass collaboration about etiquette in the online community. Once again, I’m honored to have been a part of the Weyward Sisters. It was fun to write, with some spice added on top. Special thanks to Sudden Denouement for publishing the piece. To read the full piece, click here.

Poetry

At Dusk

“This is what it feels like to have your heart broken.
This is what it feels like without you.”

I felt the weaknesses like a deep ache, but I refused to acknowledge them. And then the day I felt my heart break in half, my entire world ended. Everything was the same, yet I could sense deeper — beneath the surface — the tides were shifting, the sky was dim, and the stars even refused to shine. Like I was trapped in a permanent dusk with no other souls in sight. I cried into that new expanse, hoping something would answer. But the only thing I heard was silence.

This is what it feels like to have your heart broken. This is what it feels like without you.

© Sarah Doughty

Poetry

The Real You

“My soul feels twisted around, making me
wonder if my heart ever really knew you.”

I thought I knew you like I knew myself. Like my soul is entwined with yours in a cosmic knot. I thought I could read your face like my favorite book. The one with the worn edges, coffee and tear stains. The one I always have handy. But these days, the language and syntax have changed to something I don’t recognize. Even my soul feels twisted around, making me wonder if my heart ever really knew you. The real you. And what hurts the most is that I’m afraid with each passing day that everything was a lie.

© Sarah Doughty

Poetry

Feelings

“Darling, feel whatever you need to feel,
because you’re right, it means you’re living.”

Having emotions doesn’t mean you’re weak or less of a human. Having empathy doesn’t make you a pariah in this world, it means you care. It means you understand that other people feel too. And sometimes they feel just as much as you or more. So don’t ever try to shut them down or hide them away in the dark like they’re something to be ashamed of. Because they aren’t. Ever. Darling, feel whatever you need to feel, because you’re right, it means you’re living.

© Sarah Doughty

This piece was inspired by the lovely @maria_ann67 on Instagram.

Poetry

The Compass

“Don’t you know? I’ve always needed you.
That is how I knew my home
was never a place. It was a person.”

You are my compass. My home. My everything. I just didn’t know how much I needed you until you were right there in front of me. I’ve always needed you. And even in those first moments I saw you, I knew you were going to steal my heart. Somehow, out of billions of other souls on this earth, I would know yours apart from all the rest. That is how I knew my home was never a place. It was a person.

© Sarah Doughty

Poetry

Open Eyes

“Because through you, I learned what it means
to love myself, and how I’m worth living.”

My eyes are open now. And I see the world in Technicolor. It’s not the same monochromatic, muted tones that overshadowed my existence for as long as I can remember. It’s like a veil was lifted. You. You taught me what it means to love and be loved, not used and abused. You taught me the difference between a loving hand and a fist of hate. You gave me the courage to face my demons. And though they are immortal, I have the strength to keep fighting. Because through you, I learned what it means to love myself, and how I’m worth it. I’m worth living. I’m worth being loved. I am. And I always will be.

© Sarah Doughty

Poetry

Wishes And Dreams

“I don’t know why, but when I met you,
I knew my dreams would come true.”

I don’t know why, but when I met you, I knew my dreams would come true. Because you were only the beginning. Those dreams were everything I hoped my life would become. It took a long time to find you, and living taught me how important it is to dream. To hope. And in those dreams, I was taught how complicated, beautiful, and important it is to keep dreaming, to keep pushing higher. So thank you for being the catalyst that sparked the fire that fuels my soul.

© Sarah Doughty

Poetry

A Choice

“I will always choose you.
Because any world with you in it
is better than nothing at all.”

Have I ever told you that death visits me from time to time? It’s like he’s reminding me he’s there. Beckoning me. It’s like waking up from an endless dream, and a fog is being lifted from my bleary eyes. And for a split second, I don’t know if I want to go back to sleep into the dream I know — the place where I love you — or force my eyes to focus and risk losing myself into the unknown. A place I believe is dark. Void of all light, all sound. An infinite nothing. But then I remember why my life is worth living. I always choose to go back to you, because any world with you is better than nothing at all.

© Sarah Doughty

Poetry

Belief System

“Maybe it was wrong of me to believe a lot of things.
But loving you was never one of them.”

I confess. Maybe it was wrong of me to believe in magic, even beyond my limited childhood wonder. To see the stars and the moon in the night sky and once again be reminded that I was built from the same particles. To see lightning strike out in the distance and still feel its electricity and know that a similar static fires off in my brain, reminding me to keep breathing. Keep living. Maybe it was wrong of me to believe a lot of things. I needed to believe in the possibility of more than just magic so that I could muster the strength to survive. Because stars would never stop shining as long as they still had fuel to burn. But, if you take nothing else from here, know that I never doubted my love for you.

© Sarah Doughty