Poetry

Our Chances

“I knew our chances.
And yet I still wanted you.
I still needed you.”

I knew our chances. I knew the stakes. How the odds were always working against us. How distance was more than just a physical obstacle. I knew that loving you would lead to a broken heart. But my walls crumbled down and I fell for you anyway. And I knew. I knew that you and I becoming us was nothing more than a dream — a want. A desire. I knew. And yet I still wanted you. I still needed you. To me, nothing else mattered.

© Sarah Doughty

I played the lottery
and I won the jackpot.

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Poetry

Freedoms

“All logic and reason escaped me.
Because all I wanted was you.
And I couldn’t bring myself to care.”

And I felt it in my bones. The beat of my heart matched the hammering of your footsteps on the cool concrete. And I listened to your soles crunching the gravel beneath them. In those moments, as you came towards me, I felt free. Open. Like nothing in the world could stop us. Like you were the only thing I would ever need. Like not even oxygen would sustain me. All logic and reason escaped me. Because all I wanted was you. And I couldn’t bring myself to care.

© Sarah Doughty

Loving you set me free.

Poetry

Still In Love

“I just want you to know,
wherever you are,
a part of me still loves you.”

I just want you to know, wherever you are, my thoughts still drift to you. In the night, I sometimes find myself reaching out to you. And I can’t help but wonder if you’re doing the same thing. Sometimes, as if you are right next to me, I feel you. Like you’re a magnet. A compass, drawing me home. In some ways, I suppose you still are. Connected to me in spirit. Walking by my side. Looking up at the same moon. Feeling the same warmth in the summer night air. Laughing at each other’s jokes. Just enjoying the company of one another. There are moments, when I wonder about you. If you’re happy. If you think of me too. And, though our time ended so long ago, I remember you. I miss you. And god help me, but that part of me that knew you so well still loves you.

© Sarah Doughty

Sometimes, when I dream,
it’s about a life without you in it.

Poetry

Hopes And Losses

“For all that was lost,
and all she hopes to be,
she’s still fighting.”

For all that was lost, all that was found, and all she ever hopes to come, she knows how to live. How to survive. How to outlast her demons. How to thrive to the best of her ability. For everything she never had, for everything she will never have, and for what she has accomplished, she’s still grateful for all the strength she’s gained. She’s still fighting. She doesn’t know how to surrender. Because a warrior’s blood flows in her veins.

© Sarah Doughty

She is me. She is you.
She is the part of us
that wants to keep breathing.
And she won’t go down
without a fight.

Poetry

Landing

“I fell in love, but you didn’t love me back.
And I knew the fall would kill me.”

Standing at the edge of a cliff called Love is a scary place to be. It’s the knowing that you could fall at any second. And when you do, you don’t know what will be there when you land. If that love isn’t returned, what will you see waiting for you? Will you hit water? Fall into flame? And on the way down, you realize it doesn’t matter. Because the landing will probably kill you first.

© Sarah Doughty

Though falling in love with someone
that doesn’t love you back won’t kill you,
it hurts like hell. So be kind to yourself.
Pick yourself up and keep going.
The right one is out there waiting.

Poetry

Currents

“When you swim in the waters
of true love, you will never drown.”

If this love is true, the ocean of her heart won’t let you drown. You won’t have to worry about sinking, or learning to swim when you’ve never needed to. That love, if you let it, will keep you afloat. And you will learn to swim with the current as if you’ve lived in the ocean your entire life.

© Sarah Doughty

Maybe that’s why
I love the water so much.

Inspired by the amazing
and talented @thangbalay.

Poetry

One Thought

“And so it goes. My heart shattered
with one thought of you.”

And so it goes. My heart, once again, has shattered into a million pieces. Like a porcelain statuette, broken so many times over the years, that no matter how much glue you use, it will never quite look right again. This is how it feels when I think of you. Of what we had. And what we lost. This is how it feels to know there’s regret. That there was so much promise and possibility, yet in a blink of an eye, it was all gone. If I’m lucky, I’ll manage to not think of you for a few minutes. But then it’ll happen, and this pain will start all over again.

© Sarah Doughty

And so it goes.

Poetry

With Luck

“I’ve forgotten what it’s like
to lean in and kiss you
like I need air in my lungs.”

I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel free. Living life without looking over my shoulder, or being aware of the shadows in the corners of my eyes. Without thinking something is stalking me. Coming towards me, and will catch me if I’m not ready for them. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be spontaneous. To lean in and kiss you like I need air in my lungs. To dance in the rain and look up at the moon while the scent of wood smoke fills my nose. I wish I knew how to live my life so open and free like that. And maybe one day I will. I have to hold on to that. But for now, I’ll do what I can with the moments I’m able to experience. With luck, that’ll be enough in the end.

© Sarah Doughty

With luck, my world will
shine a little brighter.

Poetry

Burn Me Down

“And oh, what a sweet burn it was,
being with you.”

Being with you felt like dancing with the devil in a downpour of freezing rain. It was exhilarating and every nerve in my body was screaming from the onslaught of emotions and sensations. It felt like you’d struck a match and my entire body was engulfed in flames in a matter of seconds. And oh, what a sweet burn it was. I could turn to ash and not bother to care. Because in those moments, while we were together, it was worth it.

© Sarah Doughty

It was so worth it.

Poetry

Here To Stay

“I know you’re scared.
And I know you’ve been hurt.
But I’m not going anywhere.”

“No,” he said, “you can’t take the easy way out and run from this.” His hand reached toward mine and he put my hand against his chest, right over his heart, stopping the hurricane of doubts in my head. “I know you’re scared. I know you’ve been hurt. But I love you. I’m not going anywhere. And this heart beats only for you.”

Words escaped me as I tried to choke back the tears — not just the helpless ones, the ones that streamed down my face as I broke my own heart — but, for once, there were tears of happiness. As my heart mended its cracks, I didn’t hesitate. I crashed into him and hugged him tight. His arms held me up. Held me together. And I knew I’d never have to be afraid again. I didn’t need to push him away, because he was determined to stay.

© Sarah Doughty

Sometimes all anyone needs
is a little reassurance.