Poetry

This Is Me

“I made a home in this darkness.
But home is not a prison.
I am worthy. To be me.”

This life of mine has never been an easy one. That’s no secret. But I’m alive. And that counts for something, right? I may have made a home in this darkness. But home is not synonymous with prison. Home is not a place where I can’t be loved just as I am. Home is not a place where I cannot be happy in my own skin. Because these scars are proof of my resilience. To keep pushing forward. To keep fighting. And I no longer bear them with shame. That weight is no longer mine to bear. It was never supposed to be mine. Home is a place where I broke through every barrier that was erected against me. And you know what? I might be bruised, but I’m fucking brave. I’ve broken through barriers. I’ve overcome. I’ve risen. I’ve proven that I am worthy of love and happiness. I have proven that I am worthy. To be me. To become so much more. Just as I am. And I’m going to keep going without apologies.

I make no apologies for who I am. Because this is me. Scars and all.

© Sarah Doughty

This is me,
so take me as I am
or get out of my way.

This was inspired by the song
“This Is Me” by Keala Settle
from The Greatest Showman.
This is my anthem.

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Poetry

Beauty And Choes

“Looking in your eyes felt like flying.
That was when I knew you were the one.”

It was beauty. It was the brilliance. The one in your smile. It was the chaos in my veins when you looked at me. The way it felt like flying, but yet my feet were planted on the ground. And for once, that foundation wasn’t shaking beneath me, threatening to give way.

© Sarah Doughty

That was the moment
I knew you were the one.

Poetry

Pieces Of Goodbyes

“I said goodbye to each part of you,
long before you ever left.”

Oh, but how much destruction we can cause when we just want to feel something? When feeling numb is no longer enough, what are we capable of? Let me tell you this, I never wanted to say goodbye. I never wanted to watch you leave, piece by piece. Until all that remained was a shell. A husk of your former self. And even though I had said goodbye to each part of you that left, the hardest part was knowing you were going to sacrifice everything we were just to find some of those pieces again. But darling, I was never the cause. I said goodbye long before you ever left. What hurt the most was that you took pieces of me with you.

© Sarah Doughty

And now I’m nothing
but broken pieces.

Poetry

Soul Honesty

“Won’t you look me in the eye
and tell me you love me?
I want to see the honesty in your soul.”

Darling, won’t you look me in the eye
and tell me you love me?
I want to see the honesty in your soul.
I want to see how deep it goes.
Further than the brilliance of your eyes.
Beneath your skin and beyond your bones.
I want to see infinity. I want to see the stars.
I want to see that through this life
and beyond, that I am yours.
Because that is how I feel for you.

© Sarah Doughty

That is how I feel for you.

Poetry

The Giving

“I gave you everything I had,
and all that I was.
You don’t get to take credit for it.”

The crowns of burdens we bear,
weigh heavy upon our weary souls.
And when the moon crosses
the horizon with a smile on her face,
know it’s me. Know that I’m there,
watching from her eyes.
Know that I bore what I could
for you. Know that I gave you
everything I had, and all that I was.
And when that wasn’t enough,
you took my life with you.

© Sarah Doughty

But that was my crown to bear.
That was my life to give.
You don’t get to take credit for it.

Poetry

Shouting Hearts

“Late at night, my heart is not quiet.
It’s not whispering. It’s shouting your name.”

Maybe, at midnight, you’ll finally be able to say what’s in your heart. When there’s nothing but us and the moon shining above us. Maybe then. Maybe you’ll say the words. And maybe, if I’m brave enough, I’ll be able to say it too. Because in the middle of the night, my heart is no longer quiet. It’s no longer whispering, like the sun might catch its secret. It’s shouting your name, hoping against hope that you’ll feel the same.

So tell me, darling. What is it your heart shouts to you late at night?

© Sarah Doughty

My heart only calls for you.

Poetry

Hold On

“There is always light. Always hope.
Hold on like your life depends on it.”

There is always light. Always hope. No matter what you do, do not let go of it. Even in the darkest of moments where all feels lost, there is always something to push yourself forward. Whatever it is — don’t let go of it. And if it changes, grab on to it and hold on like your life depends on it. Because it just might. So drag yourself up off the ground and keep going.

© Sarah Doughty

Hold on like your life depends on it.

Poetry

Siren Call

“You are a siren to me, so keep
blanketing me with your song
and let me stay lost.”

Sirens have a way with those songs of theirs. No matter how hard you want to resist, you sometimes find yourself in the water before you realize what’s happening. And that’s what it feels like whenever I hear your voice telling me how much you crave me. Whenever I hear your words caressing my skin like a long lost lover. That’s when I knew you were a siren to me. So please, don’t stop talking. Blanket me with your song and let me stay lost in them forever.

© Sarah Doughty

Because you are always my siren call.

Random Thoughts, Updates

Year In Review

The last few weeks I’ve spent a lot of time pondering the rest of this year and what it might entail, as well as setting some goals for 2019. You see, I’ve realized that it’s far more important for me to be who I want to be, rather than whoever or whatever I might have been. This year brought a great many wonderful things my way and I couldn’t possibly count them all without forgetting some.

One of the most important reasons I set out to share my writing is to help people going through hell (or recently freed from) their own hell. No one deserves to feel alone. We Will Not Be Silenced was an anthology and a cause I am passionate about. Because I am a survivor.

I’m not sure what roadblocks 2019 has in store for me, but I know I’m not going to let anyone hold me back from being me, as I did a few times this year. I’m going to do my best to be a better friend, a better writer, a better mother, a better wife, and a better person. Like I’ve always been.

But I won’t hold back any longer. I won’t let the actions of anyone in my past that has hurt me, used me (or anyone I love) dictate how I move forward. With luck, I’m going to be me, only this time, without chains. Without dragging any dead weight behind me. I’m going to continue with my ethos and try to help more people, as well as myself, along the way.

I’ll do my best to be a better person going forward.

~ Sarah Doughty

Poetry

Afloat

“Never stop telling me how much you love me.
It is the only thing keeping me afloat.”

Your words carry me away on the wind and I find myself breathless. I want so badly to believe in them. Not for your sake, but for mine. Because all I’ve ever known is disappointments, broken trust, and lies. All I’ve ever known is how to feel small and broken. And this weightlessness that I’m feeling when I’m with you leaves me confused. I don’t know if I’ll keep on flying, or if those words will turn to stones and drag me back down to the ground. Right back to where I was.

Back to where I’ve always been.

© Sarah Doughty

So darling, don’t ever stop
telling me how much you love me.
It is the only thing keeping me afloat.

Have a great night everyone.
Here’s to 2019!