Poetry

Wonderings

“And my love, please remember that
you mean everything to me.”

It was the sound of your laugh. How it would echo through the air like an eagle soaring through the sky. It was the sparkle in your eyes. How you wouldn’t hide who you were. And the concept of wearing a false mask was unknown to you. Those are the moments that make me pause. I wonder how long you’ll still know pure joy. I wonder if you’ll get lucky and never know what it feels like to have your heart broken. I wonder if you’ll know, sixty years from now, that I loved you with everything I had. And know, that I tried. Tried to keep you safe but not caged. And know, that I tried to let you know each and every day how much you meant to me. That you meant everything to me.

So please remember this: you mean everything to me.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Because you do.
And long after I’m gone,
my love will still linger.

Poetry

Carrying Hope

“If nothing else, I’ll carry hope for you.
Because to me, that’s all that you are.”

Oh love. You still have hope. If nothing else, I’ll carry it for you. Even in those moments when you feel like it’s nothing but a distant memory.

Because to me, you are hope. You are an endless supply of it. An ocean, not of sadness, but deep and every droplet is a bit of hope you can’t help but shine into the world. How every wave is a good intention. How every storm brewing over those waters are nothing more than a means to stir the tides and drown out anything that hopes to ruin everything hope stands for.

You are peace. You are infinite. And you constantly leave me in awe.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

How can you not see
how beautiful that is?

For my moon sisters.

Earthen Witch, Poetry

Finding Home With Him

“With every cell in my body, every beat
of my heart, I knew I found my home.”

Our time together was a culmination of events that I couldn’t deny. I knew, if I didn’t love him before that moment, I fell over the edge into a bottomless ocean that was only for him. I knew I was never going back. So instead of speaking, I kissed him, hard. When my lips collided with his, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. And his arms tightened around me an instant later.

That was when I knew. With every cell in my body, every beat of my heart, I knew I found my home.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

I knew I found my home.

An excerpt,
slightly adjusted for sharing,
from my first novel, Just Breathe.

Poetry

Fates And Coincidences

Photo credit @lauramakabresku.

“I don’t believe in coincidences anymore.
Because I have you.”

And we found each other. Through the darkness. After years of growing, choices, tragedies, triumphs, and failures, we met. At long last. Perhaps there were regrets or even memories we wished we could erase from our lives. But we couldn’t deny the instant we met. When our worlds collided into one. Somehow, I knew, that whatever those dark parts of us were there before were suddenly lit aglow like a bioluminescent firefly just after the last day’s light faded from the sky. They weren’t parts to be ashamed. They weren’t choices to be regretted. Because we found each other. And I knew, on some level, you felt the same.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

I don’t believe in coincidences anymore.
Because I have you.
So you see, you changed
everything for the better.
Fate dealt the cards.
And we won the hand.

Poetry

A Beautiful Feeling

“At last, I have set you free.
Do you know how beautiful that feels?”

The last words you ever said to me was, “Set me free.” It wasn’t something I expected, and it’s taken me so long to release the weight I’ve held on my shoulders. Weight that was never mine to bear. You see, you were everything to me. You held my heart. You saw my soul. And yet, you still chose to leave all I had given behind with a cold shoulder. As if I never mattered at all. I suppose that is what hurt the worst. The not knowing. If any of it was real, as I felt deep in the marrow of my bones. If you were the person I thought you were. But in the end, it doesn’t matter, and this weight I carry, I’ve carried it long enough. At last, I have set you free. And do you know how beautiful that feels? How delicious it is to not have to struggle for the next breath I inhale into my lungs? How wonderful it is to not let the tears slip from my eyes in the dead of night? How freeing it is to not send wishes into the sky like wood smoke rising up from a pyre? So you see, now that I’ve finally let go, even if you came back, I wouldn’t ever let you back in.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

My days are no longer as dark
in your absence, because
I let my own light shine for once.

I let my own light shine.

Earthen Witch, Poetry

Sacrifice Is In My Blood

“And sometimes a bond like ours
is stronger than blood.”

When it comes to the people I care about, I will fight tooth and nail to help them. However I can. I will sacrifice pieces of myself to lift their spirits. Pieces of myself that I shouldn’t give away. Shouldn’t sacrifice. Because I’m already broken. I’m already divided into my base parts.

But I will be a punching bag, if needed. I will allow those bits to be crushed into dust, if needed. Because that’s how devoted I am when I have someone to call a friend. Someone like you. And when you bleed, I bleed. When you hurt, I hurt, too.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Sacrifice is in my blood,
and sometimes a bond
is stronger than blood.

The basic premise of this piece
inspired an upcoming novel
I’m preparing to write
in the Earthen Witch universe.

Poetry

Coming Up Short

“I never stay down. Soon, I’ll gather up
these pieces and hold my ground again.”

I’ve tried so hard to live up to the person I wanted to become. And though at times I see how I’ve overcome so many obstacles, and even defied every blockade that stood in my way, I still feel as though I’ve come up short. Maybe if I remind myself more than a few dozen times a day. Or when I feel like a failure. Maybe then, I’ll see what you claim to see beyond these weak and weary bones. A heart full of love, light, and hope. But for now, this is what I am. Flaws and all. I’ll still do what I can, but I’m tired. I’m bruised. I’m feeling beaten down into the ground. At the very least, I can thank you for being here for me through the good and the bad.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

I never stay down for long.
So just wait. I’ll gather
up the pieces and hold
my ground again.

Poetry

Aching Hearts

“And tonight, under this moonlight,
my heart aches the most for you.”

And tonight, my heart aches the most for you. Tonight, I’m looking up at the moon, casting shadows and light across my darkened room, and I reach out with my fingers, touching the light and wishing that light was you instead. And I wonder. What would your skin look like in this light? Would it look as pale as mine? Would you feel warm beneath these fingertips? Would you stop the cold from spreading through me? Would you hold me? Stay with me? Would you be mine?

© Sarah Doughty

Tonight, I wonder if
you’re thinking of me too.

Poetry

Chasing Dreams

“Don’t you see? You chased your dreams,
and that makes you my hero.”

How can you not see the potential brewing beneath your flesh? How can you not fathom how incredibly talented you are? At everything you do. By existing, you put others to shame. By existing, some are threatened. Jealous. Envious. Some might even dare to challenge everything you are. Stab you in the back, even. But to me, I see someone chasing her dreams and catching them. I see brilliance.

You dared to chase your dreams without giving any fucks in the process. How can you not see how admirable that is? How can you not feel the power oozing from your fingertips? Or the bravery? Or the unbridled joy you feel when you are in your element? I see it. I see it all. And you, my darling, are my fucking hero.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

My loyalty and devotion
will never falter.

Poetry

And You Shined

“Giving you my heart was the right choice.
As if it was ever a choice at all.”

And you shined. Oh how your light landed so softly upon my hair like drizzle in a cool spring morning. How your light made the clouds shimmer just a little more, as if they were carrying glitter instead of mundane mist. How your light speckled across the night sky mirroring the freckles on your cheeks.

And you shined. You shined from the first moment I saw you. You never stopped. That was how I knew my heart would always be safe with you.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

This was how I knew
giving you my heart
was the right choice.
As if it was ever
a choice at all.