Stay Bright

“Dearest one,
this façade
you’ve built
doesn’t fool me.”

I see the pain in your heart, the cracks in your soul. I see the light dimming in your eyes, while the rest of the world is too blind to see the truth. If I could count your tears and replace every one with something beautiful, would you see how much this world needs your light?

© Sarah Doughty

Imperfect Perfection

“All those things
you define as
imperfections
are nothing but
beautiful to me.”

Think about it this way: the moon wouldn’t be as beautiful without her blemishes and scars. She’s much more interesting than an empty canvas.

© Sarah Doughty

Wilder

How did I manage to find
such a kindred spirit,
a wilder soul,
in a world so full of
beauty and pain?
How is it that I am
so
lucky?

© Sarah Doughty

Words below are from @wilderpoetry. Her words made me cry. I am forever grateful to be her friend.

written for @thesarahdoughty
one of the most selfless
hearts i have ever had
the pleasure to know

she.
she is life.
she is light.
a brilliance
that gives
my eyes
and heart
hope.
purpose.

to know
her is
to know
love.
the undying
kind-
the kind
you hold
on to
no matter
the risk
because
in the end
it makes
your spirit
more alive.
more real.

in her
presence
i am never
far from
home.
we walk,
knowing
doubt will
fall into the
shadows
that we leave
behind allowing
us to embrace
the parts we
want to keep.

until we get
there, i will
forever be
walking on
this path,
growing
with you.

thank you
for your
company.

© Wilderpoetry

Misery at Sudden Denouement

I’m honored to see my piece “Misery” in Sudden Denouement!

Sudden Denouement Literary Collective

Sometimes all I want is for you to hold me. Let me feel your strength. Let me smell you, feel your arms around me and know you’re real.

I want to tell you how much you mean to me.

But, instead, I’m frozen in silence. And it’s only in those moments when I think you won’t really look at me, and see how much I’m feeling — how much I’m hurting — or hear me if I say something, that any sounds escape my lips.

The words you do hear are often apologies. Beneath the hundreds upon hundreds of I’m sorrys, what I really want to say is that I wish it could be better for you.

Because you don’t deserve to share my misery.

You shouldn’t have to be my savior.


Sarah Doughty is the tingling wonder-voice behind Heartstring Eulogies. She’s also the author of The Silence Between Moonbeams

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Thirteen Reasons Why Discussion #2

**Trigger Warning — This post covers a broad spectrum of potentially triggering topics, such as abuse, bullying, cutting, sexual assault, and suicide. Please read with caution. If you need to find help for any reason, go to 13ReasonsWhy.info.**

The Problems: Part Two

**Spoilers Ahead — proceed with caution.**

I’m back with another discussion post about the controversial TV show, Thirteen Reasons Why. If you haven’t already, feel free to read the introduction here and the first discussion here.

There’s been lots of speculation over the show’s decision with Skye, Clay’s old friend — someone he hasn’t connected with in some time. As we see Skye throughout the show, we can tell she’s carrying some baggage of her own. Her tattoos, makeup, clothing, and accessories are indicative enough of her individuality. Now, we don’t know her past, but we do know that she’s been through something. Or, at least, her appearance gives us that impression.

Clay and Skye’s relationship is on unstable grounds, and he isn’t sure whether he can trust her, let alone consider her a friend.

When Clay is anxious about hearing his tape in episode eleven, Skye offers to help him with a Tarot reading. Intrigued by what she could offer him, he agrees. But as she starts to read the cards, Clay takes the offensive, which leads to an argument. Her analysis is too close for him to handle, and he thinks she is intentionally trying to provoke him.

But Skye’s appearance — those tattoos, her makeup and hair, even her accessories, clothes, and her use of Tarot cards isn’t what’s stirring up discussion and controversy. It’s what happens when Clay strikes back at her.

As Skye deals the cards, Clay notices scars. Tiny cuts, in various stages of healing along her inner wrist and forearm. A clear sign that she is what many refer to as a cutter. As he lashes out in the middle of her reading, she asks, “Why would I be jealous of a dead girl? What she did was stupid.”

In defense, Clay mentions that she didn’t know anything about Hannah.

“I know she didn’t go through anything different than any of us. We all get through it.”

Clay grabs Skye’s arm, gesturing at the cuts on her wrist, and asks, “Then what’s that?”

“It’s what you do instead of killing yourself.”

Simple answer, right? Not really.

Now, before you jump on my back and attack what I’m saying, hear me out. Since I haven’t read the book, I don’t know if Skye is in it, or if she is, if this is even a part of her storyline, but what I do know is that this show is just like fiction. Imagine if you were reading a book, would you think anything other than, “This is just one girl’s opinion.”

But that’s exactly what it is. A character is someone with his or her own thoughts, beliefs, and choices. This is Skye’s method of coping.

What has the world up in arms is the argument that the show is subtly telling teens they should cut instead of slit their wrists. Perhaps some might feel that cutting is a viable answer. It isn’t the right answer, but at least it isn’t suicide.

One (fictional) girl’s opinion doesn’t mean that the show wants anyone contemplating suicide to cut instead, though some may argue that point. But is it really that unrealistic to see one girl in high school dealing her pain in the way Skye does?

I don’t think so.

Why?

If you’re dealing with as much insecurity and ridicule as Hannah and Skye (or any other girl in high school, or victim of abuse, or sexual assualt, etc.) there’s bound to be some damaged ones dealing any way they can. Especially with people who deal with extreme levels of anxiety or fears — the kinds of emotions most cutters feel the most when they experience that urge to feel physical pain instead of emotional — it doesn’t seem that unlikely.

You see, when someone diagnosed with Non-Suicidal Self-Injury, or NSSI, feels physical pain, scans revealed a decrease in activity in the emotional centers of the brain. Feeling physical pain helps them feel better emotionally. (Source) Does this behavior mean that it’s safe to be an NSSI? Not at all.

I don’t think Netflix or the writers were wrong about Skye and her answer to Clay, but I do think it’s worth mentioning. Yes, it is a cause for concern — not for the show, and Skye’s explanation in particular, but for anyone that causes physical harm to themselves. NSSIs are statistically at an increased risk of suicide, either on purpose or by accident, and it should be stressed that individuals that harm themselves need to seek out help.

A warning at the end of this episode informing people that self-harm shouldn’t be considered a viable option and that anyone suffering from it needs to find help would suffice.

© Sarah Doughty