Earthen Witch, Poetry

How Lost I Am

“How can words express
how lost I am and will forever be
without you?”

And it is here, in this moment, after everything has fallen into silence, that I begin to crumble. It is here when I realized the full extent of your loss. The emptiness of my future, looking forward and knowing you won’t be by my side. As I stand with my hands open, palms up towards the sky, reality crashes down as I know I’ll never know the feel of your skin again. I’ll never know the taste of your lips, the smell of you, or hear the sound of your voice. In that moment, my heart shatters, knowing all I ever knew of you would forever be locked in my memory. And perhaps, that’s what hurts the most — not just losing you, but realizing my future will no longer have you in it.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

How can words
express how lost
I am and will
forever be without you?
How could I ever
fill this void
you’ve left behind?

Inspired by the hero
of my next novel of the
Earthen Witch Universe series.

Earthen Witch, Poetry

The Last Seconds

“Sometimes, surviving is the hardest
part of living. Because I felt
my heart die with you.”

In the middle of all that chaos, my eyes locked with yours and I could see it in your eyes. That final acceptance that it was the last time we’d ever see each other again. And as I heard my name booming toward me from the distance, I knew there was no time to try to save you. Or to stay with you and say goodbye to our lives at the same time. Together. As we were always meant to be. But the choice was made for me when you turned your back and ran back into the fray, giving me those few precious seconds to get away. As much as it broke me in that moment, knowing it was your final wish for me to survive, I still hesitated. But the damage was already done. I watched as your lifeless body hit the ground for the last time. And I felt my heart die with you.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Sometimes, surviving is the hardest
part of living.

Inspired by the hero
of my next novel of the
Earthen Witch Universe series.

Earthen Witch, Poetry

How Lost I Am

“How can words express
how lost I am and will forever be
without you?”

And it is here, in this moment, after everything has fallen into silence, that I begin to crumble. It is here when I realized the full extent of your loss. The emptiness of my future, looking forward and knowing you won’t be by my side. As I stand with my hands open, palms up towards the sky, reality crashes down as I know I’ll never know the feel of your skin again. I’ll never know the taste of your lips, the smell of you, or hear the sound of your voice. In that moment, my heart shatters, knowing all I ever knew of you would forever be locked in my memory. And perhaps, that’s what hurts the most — not just losing you, but realizing my future will no longer have you in it.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

How can words
express how lost
I am and will
forever be without you?
How could I ever
fill this void
you’ve left behind?

Inspired by the hero
of my next novel of the
Earthen Witch Universe series.

Earthen Witch, Poetry

The Last Seconds

“Sometimes, surviving is the hardest
part of living. Because I felt
my heart die with you.”

In the middle of all that chaos, my eyes locked with yours and I could see it in your eyes. That final acceptance that it was the last time we’d ever see each other again. And as I heard my name booming toward me from the distance, I knew there was no time to try to save you. Or to stay with you and say goodbye to our lives at the same time. Together. As we were always meant to be. But the choice was made for me when you turned your back and ran back into the fray, giving me those few precious seconds to get away. As much as it broke me in that moment, knowing it was your final wish for me to survive, I still hesitated. But the damage was already done. I watched as your lifeless body hit the ground for the last time. And I felt my heart die with you.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Sometimes, surviving is the hardest
part of living.

Inspired by the hero
of my next novel of the
Earthen Witch Universe series.

Earthen Witch, Poetry

Everything You Were

“And I hope you know that you are always
in my heart. I will never forget
everything you were to me.”

Late at night, I cannot help but wonder what you might think of the choices I have made. If you think I have actually lived as we once dreamed. If perhaps you think I have taken a wrong path along the way. But since I am now in a future you will never experience, I can rely on no one than myself and the memory of you to try to find my way through this unknown. I can only hope you can forgive me for trying. And I hope you know that I will always have a place for you in my heart and I will never forget everything you were to me.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Because you were everything
I ever hoped to love.

Inspired by the hero
of my next novel of the
Earthen Witch Universe series.

Earthen Witch, Poetry

Wandering This Earth

“Without you, I wonder if I am destined
to wander this earth without
a true sense of direction or home.”

After all these countless nights without you by my side, I feel like I am sleep walking. Just wandering around without a destination. The memories of us haunt me everywhere I go, and I cannot help but wonder if I will always be haunted by the time we spent together. The time I was happy. And perhaps it is my curse. My reminder of the years I have lived. Knowing that the best of them are far behind me — while I am destined to wander this earth without a true sense of direction or a true feeling of home.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

This is the price
of losing you.

Inspired by the hero
of my next novel of the
Earthen Witch Universe series.

Earthen Witch, Poetry

Moonlight Sonata

“It was then that I remembered
how much my heart could love.”

Ghosts of silhouettes danced on the wall where the pale moonlight cast its light through the window. It was an unheard melody, but the synchronization made me feel as though I could imagine the tempo, the chords playing on a quartet of cello, violins, and piano. It was slow, like a sonata. A gentle, sad little dance that left me feeling empty with longing. It was as if it was a memory I couldn’t quite grasp with my fingertips. And the more I tried to focus, the more distant that tug of a memory became.

So instead, I watched as those shadows continued to dance and allowed my eyes to drift closed. In my sleep, my heart ached for the love that was lost long ago. Yet somehow, knowing it was once me. Dancing through the night with my beloved. In another lifetime. A happier one. Before I awoke the following morning, I could see my beloved’s serene face, looking at me with adoration. It was then that I remembered. It was then that I realized how much my heart could love another. And as the dawn crept over the horizon, I felt my heart breaking all over again.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

And every night,
like a broken record,
I remembered.

A little something
from a fan-favorite character
in my books.
Can you guess who it is?

Earthen Witch, Poetry

Finding Home With Him

“With every cell in my body, every beat
of my heart, I knew I found my home.”

Our time together was a culmination of events that I couldn’t deny. I knew, if I didn’t love him before that moment, I fell over the edge into a bottomless ocean that was only for him. I knew I was never going back. So instead of speaking, I kissed him, hard. When my lips collided with his, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. And his arms tightened around me an instant later.

That was when I knew. With every cell in my body, every beat of my heart, I knew I found my home.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

I knew I found my home.

An excerpt,
slightly adjusted for sharing,
from my first novel, Just Breathe.

Earthen Witch, Poetry

Sacrifice Is In My Blood

“And sometimes a bond like ours
is stronger than blood.”

When it comes to the people I care about, I will fight tooth and nail to help them. However I can. I will sacrifice pieces of myself to lift their spirits. Pieces of myself that I shouldn’t give away. Shouldn’t sacrifice. Because I’m already broken. I’m already divided into my base parts.

But I will be a punching bag, if needed. I will allow those bits to be crushed into dust, if needed. Because that’s how devoted I am when I have someone to call a friend. Someone like you. And when you bleed, I bleed. When you hurt, I hurt, too.

© Sarah Doughty
2019

Sacrifice is in my blood,
and sometimes a bond
is stronger than blood.

The basic premise of this piece
inspired an upcoming novel
I’m preparing to write
in the Earthen Witch universe.

Earthen Witch, Poetry

Meanings

“And that night, I learned
what it meant to fall in love.”

In the mourning, I knew the truth. It wasn’t something I ever wanted to know. You see, I needed to grieve what was left behind all those years ago. Somehow, along the way, I’d forgotten just how much I’d lost. And I couldn’t help but think all that loss would mean I would lose you too. Who would want to be with someone with so much damage. More than just the physical scars, it went down to the marrow in bones. My emotions were tainted. Mentally, what remained was broken in a way nothing could ever fix. But you stayed. You assured me you would never let me down. That you were by my side for good, no matter how much bad happened.

© Sarah Doughty

That night, I learned
what it meant to have a friend.
I learned what it meant
to fall in love.

Loosely based on the events of my
first novel, Just Breathe.