In Mourning

“I mourned the loss
of everything that was — me.”

It was still night when the storm passed, I looked at the rubble that surrounded me. What was once a beautiful landscape, save for one darkened corner I never dared to enter, was nothing but broken parts of what used to be my home. And as I mourned the loss of everything that was — me — I realized it shouldn’t still be dark. Under a moonless sky, with only a few twinkling stars, I began to shiver. I knew then what happened. That darkness spread outward like a tidal wave, destroying everything in its path. It revealed so much more than I ever thought possible. It revealed what I never wanted to know. It revealed how broken I really was. How trapped I was, in the darkness. It was only after the initial shock subsided that I realized I was no longer alone. There were creatures all around me. Whispering. Taunting. Snarling. Yet they were hidden from view. I waited for them to attack, but they never came. Eventually, I labeled each one. Shame, Doubt, Fault, Guilt, Fear. Only one was given a true name — the monster I feared my whole life — Father.

© Sarah Doughty

And there they remain,
in the darkness of my mind.
My demons.

This is what it feels like
to have everything
fall down around you.
This is what it feels like
to remember the darkest
time of your life.

1 thought on “In Mourning”

  1. Sarah this is beautifully written but sad. I want you to know that I am sorry for what ever you experienced. I say that as a survivor of a house of many fears growing up. Frightened, always looking for the ceiling to fall and the next nightmare to happen. I am sending you love, prayers and hugs my friend. Joni❤️💕🤗🤗🙏


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