At the start of 2010, I wasn’t sure what my future would look like. I didn’t even know at the time if I would become a mother, let alone anything else. But that December, my dream came true. And while this past decade brought its share of triumphs, joys, and pains, I wouldn’t trade those years for anything.
After the birth of my son, memories slowly started to surface. Memories I, at first, had no idea ever happened. Those memories broke me, in many ways. But then came the blood clots. The migraines. The horrendous anxiety. That caused those memories to come faster. And each one was worse than the last.
Eventually, it came to the point that I needed help. And part of that came in the form of writing. Well, a big part actually. It is the best way for me to get out of my head and be someone else. In 2014, I wrote my first novel, something I’d never completed before. The following year brought my first published books. It was cathartic. It was encouraging. It was fabulous ammunition against my demons.
But then my health worsened. The migraines became far too frequent. They were debilitating in every way. I spent the last couple years of this decade in the dark and in incredible pain. I tried for as long as I could to just keep writing. All along, I held on to hope and tried to find my way back to my books.
In an ideal scenario, I would have written at least one more book this year, if not more. But that didn’t happen. It wasn’t all for naught though. I managed to re-edit my first book. I redesigned my book covers. I even went as far as completing the plot of the next installment of my series. Maybe, just maybe, the start of this decade will prove to be the light at the end of this proverbial tunnel for me.
But that might be hoping for too much. This year, I’m going to work on being healthier by making smarter choices with my foods and exercise. I will continue to work on my personal life, most especially my family. Rather than hoping for a completed novel, I hope to take baby steps toward its completion. I’d like to continue that editing project, too. Most of all, I want to focus on being me. Living my life as best as I can.
I think I managed to find what helps me the most, therapeutically, this past decade. I don’t need to keep repeating it to prove anything. I just need to do what makes me feel better. That’s the best I can hope for.