“Sometimes, when my head hits the pillow,
I wonder if you’d be happier if I was gone.”
Every night, when my head hits the pillow, thoughts run through my mind. About us. What we were. What we could have been. How everything has changed — and not all for the better. Sometimes I wonder if you’d be happier if I wasn’t here. And sometimes, once my thoughts quiet, I dream of that reality. I see the smiles. The way you don’t carry stress in your shoulders. Like you’re waiting for the shoe to drop. The freedom in your eyes. Like you’re no longer burdened by me. And when I wake, the thoughts stir once more.
Those dreams. They feel so real. Even though what I see is beautiful, it breaks my heart to wonder if that would be your reality if I was gone.
© Sarah Doughty
2018
Maybe it’s The silence
of the night
that makes me pause.
Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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Soulful words though I’d advise not to tug too hard on that string. Assumption is a treacherous thing
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I know what you mean. Sometimes my mind drifts to these rather impossible hypotheticals and, most likely as a result of the abuse I endured as a child, I tend to believe them as more likely than not. I try to stop myself, but it seems a default setting I can’t quite figure out how to reprogram.
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Yeah it is involuntary at times, and there’s no permanent solution. I guess we need to just hypothesise on both sides of the coin, the good and bad, maybe then we can find a little balance
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I agree. Balance seems to be a more reasonable solution.
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Love the title. ❤️
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Oh thank you. It was, in part, inspired by a book title. It stuck with me and this piece came from it.
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Very very beautifully creative.
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Thank you, lovely soul!
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🤗🤗🤗
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Being chained by what might be imagined…or is it?
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I suppose that is the question. If we ponder these modern philosophicals, we are, at least in some part, devaluing what we do have. I suppose it could be a bit of a defense mechanism as well.
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I enjoyed this so much. I agree with floatingold. we tend to question not accept and somtimes that’s good and important. still….
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I agree. Sometimes it’s hard to accept good things are real, because in the event something goes wrong, it is that much more devastating.
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Yes there is that!
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I can definitely relate. It seems that humans have a tendency to question everything. I know I do. Is it too good to be true? Could it be better? Different?
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Oh yes. Especially in quiet moments, it seems our minds go running with unanswered questions.
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