Earthen Witch, Poetry

Shutting You Out

“Shutting you out was my worst mistake.
Like I left you before I let you go.”

And I felt it. The end. It wasn’t just one thing, though. It slowly drifted away from my outstretched fingers. Carried by some unseen current. Though I tried to hold on. To you. To us. It wasn’t enough. That was when I began to drown in the broken pieces of my heart. You see, I never wanted things to turn out this way. With so many tears and a future we dreamed, torn away in a matter of minutes. I couldn’t bear to look at the expression you tried to hide. The one that told me how lost you felt. And there I was, trying to keep myself from facing a reality I didn’t want to recognize. By shutting you out, it was like I left you before I let you go. It was the biggest mistake I ever made, not being there for you as you were for me. I couldn’t ask your forgiveness. Not after this. I didn’t know if I could ever forgive myself.

© Sarah Doughty

Sometimes I manage to break my own heart when I write the adventures of my charactersmy characters. And still, this moment is by far one of the biggest heartbreaking things they’ve ever had to endure. Even today, it feels like a fresh wound, open and deep, spilling over. If only I could stop all the obstacles that stand in their way. If only I could take those burdens from them. But this is their story. I must tell it as honestly as I can. Good parts and bad.

1 thought on “Shutting You Out”

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