This Current State Of Being

Hello lovelies, I thought it was about time to check in again. As you’re probably aware, I’ve been suffering from various illnesses for the majority of this year, and as far as I can tell, this is only going to continue.

While the horrendously long migraine ended, I’m still plagued several times a week by them. So, I suppose one positive is that not every day is bad in that regard.

Once I kicked the Springtime cold from hell, the next round of issues popped up. A few months of physical therapy to fix my back thanks to a sagging mattress and a couch that was well beyond its life expectancy was just the tip of the iceberg. Apparently, my thyroid isn’t performing correctly, which several specialists are optimistic that resolving this issue would improve the frequency and severity of my migraines, as well as help with other health-related issues, I don’t share their happy perspectives.

These migraines have been around for some time, and I was still able, most days, to do some of my therapeutic activities. But now, there’s more than just my C-PTSD and migraines to nag me. My concentration is worse, and my physical energy levels have been declining.

You’d think a simple pill to fix my thyroid would do the trick, but unfortunately, I’m one of the unlucky few to have the opposite reaction. Rather than helping that little gland perform, those meds hit the off switch. Let me tell you, getting out of bed just to go to the bathroom made me want to cry. And this went on for over a month while my doctor tinkered with the dosage to see if I would improve.

So now, I’m waiting in limbo to see a specialist for that, while I continue to feel like half of my functionality has been taken from me. I remain hopeful that this will be light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m not holding my breath. A worsened depression can be thanked for this current mindset. But could you blame me for feeling a little extra down?

This, of course brings us to now. As you’ve probably noticed. My Thirteen Reasons Why series was never completed, my next novel and poetry book were never finished, and my newsletters have gone unsent. In the rare days I’m feeling productive (using the term very loosely), I have been able to mock up new book cover designs for my fiction, which I hope to begin unveiling once I finish this novel that’s been collecting dust for months. But I have no idea when that might be.

My ability to keep up with blog posts has significantly diminished, as have my responses to comments. I really need to make more of an effort to keep up with those, at the very least. And I do thank each and every one of you that continue to leave comments, despite my silence.

I miss the way things were, and I cannot stress enough how much I want to get back to that. As always, thank you for letting me vent a little, and know that I’m doing my very best to get back to where I was before, at the very least.

© Sarah Doughty