“My heart didn’t explode in my chest from your absence.
I didn’t crumple to the ground and sob.
No, this time darling, I smiled.”
I took slow, steady steps through a tall field of grass, feeling the blades tickle against my palms. The sun peeked through the clouds, and I felt its warmth on my face. And when I closed my eyes, I could see the light dancing through the trees. It reminded me of the way you used to move. The smile that told me how much you loved me. The color of your eyes when the sun hit them just right.
In that moment, I felt you surrounding me. I waited for the grief to wash over me, but there was nothing. My heart didn’t explode in my chest from the ache of your absence. I didn’t crumple to the ground and sob. No, this time darling, I smiled. I was so damn lucky to know you. And I would keep you with me forever.
© Sarah Doughty
This was written in response to the #NovemberNotes challenge. Today’s inspiration was Holocene by Bon Iver.