Oh, gosh, so heartbreaking. I think we all have these marks on us that can be incredibly stubborn. But something like that… that’s pretty hard to bear.
When the other knows he is not worth and he know he is a failure to make his ego shine he goes on saying that to someone close who will listen to him. That is all about him, the other never us. This is one deep understanding learnt on the path as I have been hearing that from the early childhood till recently just 4 weeks ago too. But since last year I have learnt a trick… Listen from one ear and let go from the other. We ourselves know our worth and no one has the right to say anything what they feel.
You know the ritual of “laying on hands” to heal? I don’t know if it actually works.
This is the reverse, “laying on voice” to harm. I know for sure it works 😦
Another case where a ‘Like’ button is totally inappropriate. I cannot like this because it is so heartbreaking. But I do so appreciate your ability to bravely give voice to such a painful experience.
Lots of comments on this post, you really made an impact. It is amazing how words can sink into your psyche and make an irreparable crack that stays with us forever. It’s sad, that most people say things out of anger and don’t really mean them, but the damage is done. And at our core, we cling to these untrue words and tiny unseen fissures cover us.
And there’s something troubling about how we will remember the negative things from our lives far longer than we will remember the equally good experiences. And we will remember far more bad than good things, and it will taint our perception of our lives.
This is very true. Although in my case the good moments were so few and far between, I always found myself questioning their validity and honesty, especially after he’d said things like that to me on a continual basis.
What a ?!* The important thing is not what is said, but how one reacts to cruel words, hopefully by pushing them away.
Your words are affecting as ever.
Thanks, love. Those words haunt me, and as much as I’d like to say they never hurt me, they still find me in my weakest moments. But I push on and push back. 😊
It’s hard, sometimes, to ignore those awful things those who should love you say, and it’s because of how much you love those people, how their opinions of you haunts you so…
This, is truly awful, because you’d been, living as what someone else wants you to be, but now, you’d realized this, hopefully, you’ll be able, to break free from this vicious cycle you’re currently in right now…
Very true, but as long as you’re improving yourself a little more each and every day, you will soon, overcome those awful years of childhood eventually…
It was interesting I didn’t encounter too many vindictive teachers until college. Most of the teachers I dealt with growing up were the kind that would subtly make fun of their intellectually disadvantaged students, and of course, I was one of the few that caught those jokes. I’m sorry that happened to you.
Ooohhh i am a teacher myself but i never do that…i believe that teachers should empower …inspire….i am sorry you have to go through something like that..
I built a cunning plan into my own teaching: never do unto others what was done to me. I worked one on one where possible, built relationships, opened doors, and did the opposite of what was done to me. Empowerment is a great word. Also the in class announcement: “There is no such thing as a stupid question …”
A very good reason: my beloved was a ‘stay at home’ mother and the results were outstanding. Such a benefit to the children at home. I still work online with those who need me.
We dismiss the value and important role of mothers when we send them back to work asap after childbirth. I am so glad our daughter was present with her mother for as long as she was. She grew up with different values and a very different understanding.
That is very kind of you. Thank you. I have been told that I was fun to be around. And people gained a very different approach to the meaning of knowledge.
I’m so sorry you heard those words from someone as important as a mother. No one deserves that kind treatment. I am glad to hear things are better than they were.
the amygdala moment. i like the moral lesson in this: when angry, take a walk, go for a drive, shred paper – but, whatever you do, for God’s sakes, keep your mouth shut.
Sarah Doughty 
I put ‘Like’ because I know what that feels like as well.
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I understand.
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Oh, gosh, so heartbreaking. I think we all have these marks on us that can be incredibly stubborn. But something like that… that’s pretty hard to bear.
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Oh yes, it definitely is. Thank you.
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Ouch and it makes me sad to understand this so well. 💔❤
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I’m sorry, love. 💖
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Wonderful
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Thank you!
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When the other knows he is not worth and he know he is a failure to make his ego shine he goes on saying that to someone close who will listen to him. That is all about him, the other never us. This is one deep understanding learnt on the path as I have been hearing that from the early childhood till recently just 4 weeks ago too. But since last year I have learnt a trick… Listen from one ear and let go from the other. We ourselves know our worth and no one has the right to say anything what they feel.
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Thank you for that. I’ll do my best.
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You are welcome…. We all are students of life and together helping each other grow we all will learn lots. 🙏
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Very true.
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You know the ritual of “laying on hands” to heal? I don’t know if it actually works.
This is the reverse, “laying on voice” to harm. I know for sure it works 😦
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh yes, that old saying of sticks and stones… Words can hurt just as bad, if not worse.
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Another case where a ‘Like’ button is totally inappropriate. I cannot like this because it is so heartbreaking. But I do so appreciate your ability to bravely give voice to such a painful experience.
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Thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it.
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This is the most painful thing that can every haunt a person because it haunts forever
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It does.
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Lots of comments on this post, you really made an impact. It is amazing how words can sink into your psyche and make an irreparable crack that stays with us forever. It’s sad, that most people say things out of anger and don’t really mean them, but the damage is done. And at our core, we cling to these untrue words and tiny unseen fissures cover us.
And there’s something troubling about how we will remember the negative things from our lives far longer than we will remember the equally good experiences. And we will remember far more bad than good things, and it will taint our perception of our lives.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is very true. Although in my case the good moments were so few and far between, I always found myself questioning their validity and honesty, especially after he’d said things like that to me on a continual basis.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Knowing your worthiness is the best thing ever and no one will make you feel bad…
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Yes, indeed. Thank you so much! 😊
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What a ?!* The important thing is not what is said, but how one reacts to cruel words, hopefully by pushing them away.
Your words are affecting as ever.
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Thanks, love. Those words haunt me, and as much as I’d like to say they never hurt me, they still find me in my weakest moments. But I push on and push back. 😊
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And how wrong he was!
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Thank you for that. 😊
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It’s hard, sometimes, to ignore those awful things those who should love you say, and it’s because of how much you love those people, how their opinions of you haunts you so…
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Yes, that is true. I tried to do whatevew I could to make him happy, even proud of me, but it never happened.
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This, is truly awful, because you’d been, living as what someone else wants you to be, but now, you’d realized this, hopefully, you’ll be able, to break free from this vicious cycle you’re currently in right now…
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That’s what I’m working on. It’s difficult to reprogram all those years of childhood development.
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Very true, but as long as you’re improving yourself a little more each and every day, you will soon, overcome those awful years of childhood eventually…
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Yes, eventually.
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Sarah, This is beautiful..
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Thank you!
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you are worth more than more. more than more. and he did not win. never will he win.
*hugs, love*
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I know. I tell myself that as often as I can.
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yes. ❤ yes. ❤
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People don’t realize how much words hurt… and stay with us…
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Indeed. 💕
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Ooo this one cuts….
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It does. Thank you.
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Hope you’ve recovered from the wound…
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It’s a work in progress.
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I feel you.
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I hope you never listen to anyone who says you’re not worth it, but you are worth it and so much more, Sarah!
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Thanks, love. It’s all in the past (fingers crossed against trolls and bullies). They just haunt me.
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Right on! 🙂
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Thank you! 😊
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You’re totally welcome! 😀
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you are what you think you are
my son
says negative things about me too
so i know
reality is somewhere in between
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That’s true. An irrational part of me believes those things, but mostly I know they’re not true. I’m sorry you hear those things from your son.
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we know too much about each other!
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I understand.
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i m sure you do. it s love and hate.
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In a sense, yes.
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no for us literally. my son will not try to create other friends other than his parents. he s almost as anti social as i am
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I’m sorry to hear that.
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I had lots of teachers like that in my school. Perhaps that’s why I kept running away!
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It was interesting I didn’t encounter too many vindictive teachers until college. Most of the teachers I dealt with growing up were the kind that would subtly make fun of their intellectually disadvantaged students, and of course, I was one of the few that caught those jokes. I’m sorry that happened to you.
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No problem. I grew out of it! I actually became a teacher (of sorts!).
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That’s awesome! It’s a nice way to give impressionable minds a positive experience.
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Ooohhh i am a teacher myself but i never do that…i believe that teachers should empower …inspire….i am sorry you have to go through something like that..
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I agree with you. Though I felt slightly better for understanding what those teachers were doing, it was still inherently wrong.
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Whatever they’re going through or have been through..still that does not give them the license to do it at all..
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I agree.
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I built a cunning plan into my own teaching: never do unto others what was done to me. I worked one on one where possible, built relationships, opened doors, and did the opposite of what was done to me. Empowerment is a great word. Also the in class announcement: “There is no such thing as a stupid question …”
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wow!!! very well said Roger, i hope we have more teachers like you…..the world (our youth needs someone like you)
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I am long retired now: but I still work with those who need me.
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Same here roger..no not retired..i resigned to answer the call of motherhood.
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A very good reason: my beloved was a ‘stay at home’ mother and the results were outstanding. Such a benefit to the children at home. I still work online with those who need me.
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That’s a great sentiment. I think my son was very fortunate for having help at home before starting kindergarten.
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We dismiss the value and important role of mothers when we send them back to work asap after childbirth. I am so glad our daughter was present with her mother for as long as she was. She grew up with different values and a very different understanding.
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That’s an invaluable life lesson for the both of them.
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Awww that’s lovely.
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Yes they do. I hope my son is fortunate enough to know some in his years at school.
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I hope so too Sarah..
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Very good. I’m so glad to hear that. I would have been honored to have you as a teacher.
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That is very kind of you. Thank you. I have been told that I was fun to be around. And people gained a very different approach to the meaning of knowledge.
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I always found learning to be more powerful when it was met with fun and adventure. Especially when it was meant to make me think. 😊
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I heard this often, too. From my mom, she is different 25 years later, but those echoes still reverberate.
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I’m so sorry you heard those words from someone as important as a mother. No one deserves that kind treatment. I am glad to hear things are better than they were.
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Thank you. I’m used to it.
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A new reverberation… You are worthy 🙏
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Thank you for that. 😊
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the amygdala moment. i like the moral lesson in this: when angry, take a walk, go for a drive, shred paper – but, whatever you do, for God’s sakes, keep your mouth shut.
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Yes, exactly. It was one of those lessons I wished my father learned.
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