Michael’s taste exploded across my tongue like I was just electrocuted with ambrosia. A groan, low and throaty escaped from him, erupting from his chest in response to my sudden move to kiss him.
Cool hands moved to my face and his mouth opened wider, inviting me to deepen that insatiable kiss. I responded without hesitation and the feel of his chilled tongue moving with impeccable skill against mine was like nothing I ever imagined.
Too soon, Michael pulled back with a slight grin. A whimper escaped from me before I realized I made a sound, and that grin widened with a devilish glint in his eyes.
In that moment, I caught sight of his fangs and a shiver traveled down my spine. But it wasn’t fear that he might hurt me.
Fire traveled through my veins and I wanted nothing more than to feel his bare, cool flesh against mine and his teeth grazing against my sensitive flesh. I didn’t know if he was a real vampire or just doing an exceptional service, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
“Please,” I begged, yet I wasn’t certain what I was begging for.
Michael stepped back and held out his hand to me as the grin faded from his perfect, rounded lips. He reminded me of royalty — the kind from centuries before in old movies and literature — in the way he extended his pale hand to me. I took it without thinking and realized I was grinning up at him.
“Come, Tessa,” he crooned.
Then he led me toward the bedroom.
© Sarah Doughty
This is part 8 of Him. Read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, and part 7.
Want to read the whole thing in one place? Click here.
Stay tuned for more.
This was also published at UInk.ca.
How about if tomorrow I edit your piece and you make comparisons? Your prose isn’t repulsive, there are elements which capture your reader’s attention. For instance, the contrast of cold tongue against warm flesh is startling. Huge thumbs up for that one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I look forward to seeing your suggestions.
LikeLike
gosh this is exquisite writing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you! 😊 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
OOh, the bedroom!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right? Finally!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Sarah. Thanks for leaving a like. I understand much about pain and how writing is a viable alternative to medication. I wish well. Who knows, you might even decide to take up a creative writing course.
LikeLiked by 2 people
College was all about writing for me. Since then, writing has been a huge help for me. Thank you for stopping by.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi again. Your writing style reminds me of E L James. Have you read any Hemingway novels? The prose is a good launch point for writer development.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi, Talia. I’m hoping my style isn’t quite like EL James. Though I read them, I wasn’t impressed with the story of Fifty Shades. I have read Hemingway and enjoyed it very much. I try to utilize all the senses in my writing, and he always did a wonderful job at that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes indeed he did. Quite visceral, yet economical with language. When prose is like that the reader isn’t repulsed by tonal tags, which in my opinion, aren’t needed. Carver never employed tonal tags and still managed to effectively how his protagonists conversed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree. Are you suggesting my choice of prose is repulsive to readers? I’m always open to constructive criticism.
LikeLike